My Daze in Neverland

Spring has sprung.

2009-02-23T10:27:00.000-08:00

The other day at work I was driving through a parking lot that I visit everyday when I noticed that all of the trees in the lot were covered in buds and petals. When we take the time to observe the world around us there are wonderful things to see, but we must have our minds and eyes open if we want to recognize the beauty that surrounds us.

Ryann and I are planning a drive to take in more of this spring splendor and I am looking forward to it.

Where do you go when you dream?

2008-08-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

I have mentioned before that that I generally do not remember my dreams. However this is changing.

In my struggle to help Ryann walk up each morning I try talking to her and asking her questions as soon as the alarm goes off. Often I don't have much to say only seconds after waking so I will ask if she had any dreams. This gets me thinking about any dreams I may have had and talking about them so the memory sets a bit. I have been doing this now for less than two weeks and I have remembered three dreams.

Each of these dreams has been in vivid color but I had already known that I dream in color what I did not know is that I pretty much just dream about camping. All three dreams have been about hiking in the mountains. Ryann has been in two of the dreams but not really with me just around somewhere and in last nights dream I was actively looking for her.

Day 15: Greenwich London

2008-06-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

This morning I packed my bags and did inventory, I am missing a pair of socks the hand towels, and Dallas' battery charger. I left the battery charger at the Hyde Park before going north certain that would be a safe place for it, but when I checked at FHE I could not find it. Other than that I am ready to take off. I took the bag to the baden powell and went out to greenwich. I got off the train with know idea where I was or where I needed to be but after a nice amble and directions from a local I found St. Alphages parish church (the church many of my ancestors attended). The old courtyard is now a driveway but all the headstones are still there. They have been arranged two deep as a fence around the church. Unfortunately almost none are ledgable. I was able to go in and look around but the old church records are not available. This was disappointing but not surprising, I still feel good about going.
From there I headed to the maritime museum and royal observatory. The maritime museum was a let down for me but I loved the observatory. I got to see all the instruments used by the famous early astronomers and I got a picture of me stradling the prime meridian. They also have a camera obscura which was cool (it would be a good place to sneak a kiss and made me miss Ryann).
I had planned to go from there to the british museum, but I saw something that mentioned the Thames Barrier and decided to go check it out. The barrier has interested me since I first learned of it, but it took a lot to get to it and I didn't get to see it in action. I then hopped a bus that would take me all the way to the british museum I enjoyed sitting upstairs on the bus as we drove a meadering course across the city, but when we got to the museum I just didn't have time to see it. I needed to be on a 4:40 train if I was going to do a temple session (that is not entirely true but was my perseption).
The London Temple is not in London. It is an hour by train from the city to Lingfield and then a 35 minute walk from that village to the temple. I hear most people arrange a taxi from the train, but the taxi is a 15 minute wait so I just walked. On the walk the back of my lest hand had a bad run in with stinging nettles, but I toughed it out and got to the temple in time for the 7:00 session.
The temple is nice but lacks some of the elegance of other temples I have been in. My session only had 11 people in attendance and that was kind of sad. However one of those people was from the ward I visited in York and afterwards he gave me a ride to the train, which is where I am writing this.
It is odd to think I am done with this trip. In the morning I will go directly to the airport and then head home. I am very excited to see Ryann but it seems strange to be gng back to the real world after two weeks of being on an adventure.

Day 14: Back to London

2008-06-12T08:11:00.000-07:00

It is 8:30 and I am on the train back to london from York. I just went past two atomic power sites maybe 15 miles apart one with 10 cooling towers the other with eight it is amazing that no one even seems to notice them they are just part of the background. I have a 3 hour train ride and have the challenge of entertaining myself for that time, this afternoon I plan to go to the imperial war museum.

My train got into London at 10:30 (only a 2 hour trip) but it took me until 2:30 to get check into my hostel. As I said earlier, if I had pre-planned everything I would not have had to stress about where to stay and could have save some money, but if I had pre-booked everything I would not have had the freedom to explore, which I have loved. I don't think I would have seen York or Durham had I pre-planned everything, and they have made the stress worthwhile.
Well I got to the war museum at a quarter past 3:00 and was glad to find that it stays open until 6:00. I visited all the displays and found that the display on how WWII impacted the children of the UK to be very powerful, even more powerful than the display on the holocost.
There is also a large mural by John Singer Sargent depicting a mustard attack from world war one. I enjoyed the museum but I had thought it would go back farther in history, it starts with 1900, but I guess all that is at the british musuem.
At 7:00 I went to the chapel, where I was pretty sure the britania ward would have FHE, and got to know Sebastian while waiting for the rest of the ward to arrive. (it starts at 7:30) I gave the lesson using my sacrament thought, because there had been a comunications problem. Then we planned a movie game that had a round of trivia, a round of charades, another of movie theme song name that tune, and finally an act out a classic movie scene. It was fun and I had a great time.
Now I am back at the hostel and finally doing the laundry that has been plagueing me for a week. I hope not to be up to much longer because there is a lot I want to do in the morning.

Day 13: York

2008-06-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

Last night I was in a full 8 bed dorm room and this morning it was a bit crowded as everyone got going. The Hostel serves an english breakfast buffet style and I took advantage of that then checked out. I left my large bag in there luggage room and told them I might be back for the night but would not know until later.
I walked the mile or so to church and found my feet were still not happy, in fact I had a full blown limp by the time I got to church. The York 2nd ward is a good one, the people ARE WARM AND FRIENDLY AND THE TEACHERS WERE VERY ENGAGING... I THINK i MAY HAVE SAID ALMOST THAT SAME THING AFTER THE WARDS IN hYDE pARK. ONE OF THE SACRAMENT TALKS WAS ON marriage and it made me wish Ryann was with me.
after church I asked some people about the best way to get to London and was told to take the Grand Central Train that would be at platform 5 at 8:wp in the morning, they said it would only be a bit more than the bus but would be faster and more comfortable.
When I set off into talk I had barely gone a block when I saw a sign that said "windmill open" and pointed up a hill, intrigued I went up the hill. At the top I found a brick tower that had been a georgian era windmill. It was managed by volunteers, who let me in even though I did not have the admission fee on me. The site is wonderful and when they get the cap and sails put back on next year it will be even better. I thought of Dad as I looked at the massive gears and shafts, I think he would have really enjoyed it.
I then went back inside the walls of York and wandered the old city a while. Minster is lovely and there was an open air market today. I also popped into some book and jewelry shops. I was really just wandering but I liked what I saw. The weather was great and I am glad I came here.
Once things started to close down I followed the river walk back to the hostel and visited with some IU students who are also passing through York. They had climbed the Minster tower today and I was very bummed when they told me about it because I had not even thought to go into the church and according to them it is the best in the UK.
Once our visit wound down I headed off to bed with a mug of coco, It has been a good day.

Day 12: Keld to York by way of Hawes.

2008-06-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

I slept surprisingly well and dry considering I was in a simple lean-to and it rained straight through the night. However nothing had dried overnight and even though I had new dry socks I had the same wet boots, so I put on wet socks and rain gear then departed at about 7:00 am.
The trail went over several hills and I got quite a workout. I also had some amazing views of verdant, pastoral valleys and rugged hills. I stopped and rotated sox but my feet and legs did not fair well and by the time I reached Hawes I was glad to be done with the hike and looked forward to checking into a hostel and FINALLY DOING SOME LAUNDRY. So imagine my disapointment to discover that the YHA at Hawes was full. The local bus has a stop labeled Asygarth (hostel) so after a brief visit to where wenslydale cheese is made, I caught the bus.
The asygarth hostel has met the same fate as the one at keld, and is now a B&B that has no vacancy this weekend. The bus route I was on goes all the way into the city of North Allerton I had planed to stay in the Dales and explore them a bit on Sunday but the Dales are like tahoe or maybe apple hill, they get busy with little events, that draw a lot of people and fill up on the weekend.
When the bus pulled up at the train station in North Allerton, I decided I'd keep moving. I had intended to visit York, largely based on Tim's recommendation, on the way back to London, so I got a one way ticket on the next Train to York.
I found my first two hours in York very frustrating. At the station I had gotten two addresses for Hostels in the central city, and I walked on sore and tired feet to first one then the other to find both closed and abandoned. A police woman gave me instructions for another which was some way off and also directions to church. I walked to the church and seriously contemplated sleeping in the bushes but, decided that was not appropriate, I had hoped for a sign telling what time wards met but there was no such luck. I saw a grocery down the street and went to keep a promise I had made myself on the trail, to have a pint of a local ice cream that intrigued me when I first saw it. It is a toffee ice cream with bits of honey comb in it. I also used their pay phone to confirm that there was a room available and get directions. When I went back past the church I found elders who told me that wards met at 9:00 and 1:00. Eventually I got to the hostel got checked in and got to bed. I had ment to spend this afternoon and evening idlely wander a country village but instead have spent it crossing the country, stressed and weary. I wonder if more preplanning might have helped.

Day 10: Bernard Castle and Bowes

2008-06-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

The first half of today was great, the second half frustrating.

I woke up and found I was looking right at the big dipper. I felt well rested and couldn't go back to sleep, so in the pre-dawn light I got showered and pack and set off. The pennine way was starting a 4 mile stretch of pavement, when a side trail called the "tees railway walk" and it lead through many of the little villages in the area along an abandoned rain line. I decided I had both time and inclination, so I went down the path. I enjoyed the wild flowers along the path and even gave myself a little boutanier. By 9:00am I had come to the last of the villages and still had not found an inn open for breakfast. I had two choices: go on towards my days destination (the village of Bowes, which I had by then been told was tiny) or take yet another path to the town of Castle Bernard. Both towns were about 4 miles from where I was, and they are about 4 miles from each other. I chose to go to Castle Bernard,which the locals call Berny. The path was not an established track but rather a series of field that you entered at a gate or stile and there was an arrow pointing the general direction of the next gate, this made it interesting, but slightly less enjoyable than I had hoped.
Berny is the town I got a bus transfer at yesterday. It is where all the shops in the area are and it has a ruined castle but I didn't find anything I really wanted to do or see there. I ended up taking a nap on the greens and when I woke up I was ready to move on. When I enquired I found you cant actually walk the 4 miles between where I was and where I wanted to be. They are connected by a major hiway or you could go back the way I came. By this point I had walked 12 miles and didn't want to retrace it all and then walk the road I had avoided walking a few hours earlier, so I took the bus to Bowes. My map mentions that Bowes is the site of some Roman ruins and ruins of another castle, but it turns out the castle is on top of the roman site and there is only about five minutes worth of looking around to do.
It was 2:00pm and I was where I had planned to spend the night. Going on down the Way was not an option because the next place to sleep is 13 miles and that is tomorrow's docket, however I could go up the Way towards where I was yesterday and take an alternate route on the trail and sleep in a hostel rather than a campsite. This appealed to me since I had heard talk of rain and need to charge some batteries, so I set out. Once again the trail started by hugging a road but the turned and took me into rugged highlands pasture being grazed by sheep and goats. Along this stretch the way is hard to pick out but they have posts in the ground every few hundred yards so you can follow it... Until the posts stop. 2 miles out from Bowes (about 1/2 my trip) I found myself in a field of mixed bunch grass at least knee high with a million goat paths going every where. I set off towards the fenceline I had been going towards but I never found a marked gate. I did find a truck path and followed it for a while before concluding it wouldn't take me anywhere worth going. I was in a area between my maps and couldn't figure out where I needed to be so after an hour of bushwhacking I gave up and headed back to Bowes.
I just went out to dinner since it is now raining and I didn't want to sit outside and cook. The food was far but filing and this inn is warm and dry. It is only 8:30 and the sky will not be dark for an hour but lacking option I think I am going to climb into bed now and try to get some sleep and stay dry. Tomorrow is straight forward cross country hiking over a rather high pass (for the area) and my body can use the sleep.

Day 9: Transit & hiking

2008-06-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

This morning I got off to a later start. Let me back up a bit. Last night I started a batch of laundry at about 9:00 and when I moved it to the dryer I discovered the washer had leaked on the floor. I told this to the lad at the deskk and went back to looking at bus and train charts trying to find the best way to get to the trail, then water started pouring down from the kitchen ceiling. The laundry room had flooded. I recovered my still wet clothes and distributed them on bedrails around my room (meanwhile having a nice chat with a pair of scott's who are biking across the country and had come in to get warm and dry) I went back to working out travel arrangements and repacking. By the time I got to sleep it was 2:00am. With this in mind it is not unreasonable that I did not get out of bed at 7:00 like I had planned. I got up about 8:40, I think, and found my clothes had not dried at all overnight. So I put them in the drier and 40 minutes later concluded that I was dealing with the world's least effective drier.
Skipping to the good bits, I finally boarded my train at 10:30 and sat next to a local girl, and I must admit to just a little bit of flirting as we went to her stop. (I have worked hard at not flirting here but it does happen.) I went onto Darlington where I caught a much slower, older, regional line train to a place called Bishop Auckland. For this stretch I travelled with a very friendly older gentleman named Tim who is a railroad buff from York, his accent was wonderful and when we arrived he helped me find a post office and then the bus stop I needed. He was great. Now it is 1:00 and I am on a bus driving through countryside straight out of a postcard, with rolling green hills, grazing sheep and hedgerows. Oh look a castle, that is my stop.
It is now 9:20 and I am in my sleeping bag, more or less waiting for it to get dark. The above mentioned castle was not my stop just more random norman era ruins. But my stop came 10 minutes later and I didn't have a chance to get a good look at those ruins before catching the transfer to middleston on tees, the village I am sleeping at tonight.
After I got to town, I dropped off my gear packed a day bag and hiked for the first time on the pennine way. My hike had everything you could ask for in an outing in the English countryside. Hillsides swarming with rabbits, sheep pastures, old stone house, a babbeling river, and a waterfall. (High Force on the river Tees is the tallest above ground water fall in the UK coming in at just over 100 feet.) The hike to the falls was a 10 mile round trip on which I crossed stone walls on a number of different types of stiles (or is that "styles of stiles") crossed brokes, and frightened a number of small creatures including some phesant.
I just ate thai ginger noodle soup for diner along with a yorkie bar, and got my camp set up, they say it will rain tomorrow and I think I am ready. Right now I am being eaten by bugs and am wishing I had a better Avon Lady.

quick update

2008-06-09T03:47:00.000-07:00

I am back in london.

the hiking was good, but wet. I came back by way of york and it is nice. I will get the posts from this past week up as soon as I can.

Day 8: Newcastle & Durham

2008-06-03T14:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and discovered that one of my roomies, a girl named francis, was headed to Durham, since I had been planning on going (I already had my ticket) I asked if we could go together, and she agreed. We caught the train and got to Durham around 9:00 it is a lovely little town built around a Norman catherdral. I took lots of pictures of the outside but they ask you not to take pictures inside. Frankly the inside is not all that impressive. I like the stained glass but it only dates back to the mid 1800s because all the original was distroyed by the reformers (the same group that tore down the globe theater in London). The mass of the church of England lacks some of the heritage of the catholic mass (especially when done in latin) and lacks the spirit making it basically just large and old. It has a 350 foot tall bell tower but because it was raining ( oh, did I forget to mention it was raining cats today) I couldn't go up. Despite my criticism of the interior, the out side of the cathedral is nothing short of magnificent. It sits on a hill above a curve in the river Wear. Its towers can be seen from miles away and the lush green hilll topped by this ancient and magestic structure is breathtaking. Like I said I took a bunch of pictures, it is unlikely that any can do it justice. I then wandered through the very pleasant town of Durham and went into little artisan shops and admired local products, finally hoping the train back to Newcastle about noon.
I needed to then take the rented bike back and I enjoyed one last ride down the narrow winding and steep old roads of this town. After taking care of that item of business, I discovered that even though some of the outside is being worked on, the inside of the castle this town is named for is still open to the public. It is cold and dark and impressive. The Newcastle society of Antiquities, who maintain it, have some great displays showing artifacts that have been uncovered beneath and around the site, including an impressive display of swords.
After the castle I decided to go back to the roman site I went past yesterday, but after it had closed. It is the site of the garrison at the east end of Hadrian's wall. Many of the orginal foundations can be seen as well as a section of the walls foundation leading off to the west. The site has a replica of a roman bath house and models of what the site may have looked like but for the most part is just rock outlines on the ground, I found it very impressive. The thought that "when these stones were lade some of the apostles were still alive" struck me as well as some thoughts on what empire means and the relitive nature of history. The museum at the site is mainly oriented towards school children but it had some cool artifacts and a tower from which you can view the whole site. In the evening I picked up some supplies I will need for hiking, cooked my dinner and got dessert from a little cafe next door. Now I am finishing some laudry and I am hoping to be in bed soon since I want to get an early start tomorrow.

Day 7: Newcastle

2008-06-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

It is a few minutes before 9:00 and I am sitting in front of the tourist information center in Newcastle. I arrived here about three hours ago and had a great first impression. I have already walked around the castle (which is getting some work done so not open) across the millenium bridge, and to all three of the city's old churches (st mary's, st. Jame's and st. Nicholas). I was only able to enter st. Nick's but I got cool pictures at all three. I am waiting to get directions to my hostel, so I can drop off my bag, and then go for a bike ride.
It is 10:00. I just got checked in and frankly was not prepared to have the choice of sleep yet. I think I am going to nap for an hour then go biking. (it was a bad idea to plan on sleeping on the bus. I only got 2 or 3 hours and that was often interupted)
It is now 3:30 and I am about to check off an item from my england list by eating genuine fish and chips, and for bonuses I am doing it sitting on a castle wall overlooking the north sea.
The chips were really nothing special. It was an excellent piece of cod about a foot long but I really should have gotten so balsamic vinegar to take with me, it just needed a bit more of something, it was also slightly oily but again, I think waiting 15 minutes to eat it may be a factor. I oldered my fish & chips with a battered and fried pineapple ring that was very tasty. I have wandered the castle ruins here at the mouth of the river tyne and discovered that wind blowing through old castles makes some very creepy noises. I am about to head back to newcastle hopefully by way of some roman ruins.
I am back at the hostel and it is going on 8:30. I went to then ruins but the gate was already closed for the night. The bike rental place was also closed for the night which was a mixed blessing, it means I will pay for the full day rather a half day, but it also allowed me to explore upper newcastle on bike. They have a complex but cool and useful network of bike overpasses and skyways as well as a tunnel under the tyne.
So I am still burning money but don't feel as bad about it for some reason. I think it is because I am getting a better value from this hostel, it costs less than the london dive did and has even better amenities then the badden powell. This means the other money is being spent on lunches out and activities.
The cool moist air here usual keeps me from feeling very thirsty so I have not done well drinking enough water. Today I forgot to take any water with me on my bike ride and so I spent ten active hours and three resting ones without drinking anything. By the time I got back here I was painfully dehydrated. I will need to build back up a reserve tonight and tomorrow, for my backpacking.
I have decided that I will stay in the lounge for a while rather than going out or to bed. I want to watch some brittish tv (mainly to see what the commercials are like since they have imported so many shows) and meet the other guests.

London: Day 6

2008-06-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

I woke up first thing this morning and discovered that I don't want to stay here again. Bad showers, bad electric access, and room mate problems, it was just not a good hostel. After checking out I walked through the park, half heartedly looking for the gardens, on my way to church. I went to the Hyde Park family ward, which was pretty good, and learned that most sundays they have about 10 visitors in priesthood. I was particularly impress by the young men who passed sacrament.
I am in the V&A museum and just came across my second Rodin in London, this one is very different than the other pieces of his I know. It is a bust of George Windham and has life like features and a smooth finish, way different than his portrait of balzack... There are a dozen or so rodin's in this sculpture exhibit and only two seem "not Rodinish" to me George, and a small marble of cupid and psche... The muse is another piece originally from "gates of hell" in am intrigued anew that he never had it cast. Muse has the seams visible where pieces of metal were joined... Even Rodin used the fig leaf (john the baptist). Alfred Gilbert does very similar word to rodin.
There are seven Rapheal cartoons (paintings on large paper) on display in another room, done as templates for tapestries in the sistine chapel and elsewhere some gorgeous katana blades.(2:00pm London )
Well I decided to go back to churchfor the singles ward. The hope was that there would be a "break the fast" type social and I could just talk to some londoners, but no luck. I did enjoy their EQ lesson though.
It is about 6:30 and I write this as I pause hiking cross country through Hyde Park looking for Kensington Gardens. I am amused because it is real hiking, narrow single track through high grass and thick trees, and because I am wearing my church clothes a transparent rain jacket and a 35lb backpack, yet no one even seems to notice.

Well apparently you can walk through Kensington Gardens and not know it. KG is a stretch of Hyde Park that has been naturalized. In fact, I was standing in it when I wrote the last note.
Well it is 8:30 and I have gone to the buss station, checked my bags and am now sitting in a lovely little park. If it were not 1/3 of the way 'round the world I would want wedding pictures here. It turns out this is a private park and membership is £180 a year, but I was let in by a member so I am okay. I took some pictures of the flowers but there is just no way to do this park justice, it has a manicured path a natural grass tenis court and play set, aswell as nice wooden picnic sets that many couples are currently taking advantage of.
I am glad to be leaving London. I have enjoyed dropping into museums and galleries just because they are there, but the city is so exspensive, I have made every choice based on "is this a good use of my money" and "if I do this now will I have enough money to last." Newcastle is supposed to be quite a bit cheaper and I am looking forward to backpacking.

Thoughts on Tate Britain

2008-06-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

J.E. Millias' flowing to the river.
That seem like a poor choice of outfits to wear fishing... If you focus on the foliage in the center as you move past it appears very 3D.

Herbert Draper "I wonder if he's a cousin"

Some links to religion or classicism to justify the nude form are pretty big stretches

Sargent's "mrs carl meyer and her children" that woman seems the victim of unfortunate lightning. (the woman standing next to me said "I'm trying to figure out the size of her waist. No one that skinny should be able to stand")

Watts' Hope. I think this is the piece referenced in the title of Obama's book.

Watts' Eve Trilogy. She shall be called woman I think Watts is capturing the nobility of Eve, and thereby all women, here in a way I don't generally associate with artist of his era.

I had not known that Mammon was the name of a roman god of money.

The sluggard: yup that's me in the morning

Sargent's "Ellen Terry as Lady Macbeth" the frame is an amazing complement to the art, i wish it wasn't under plexiglass it is getting bad glare.

William Coldstream (cool name) "Inez Spender": oh, that woman looks like a teenage boy to me.

Graham Sutherland "Somerset Maugham" I like the richness of this piece. I think I would have enjoyed talking to the man in this painting.

Augustus John "Dorelia standing before a fence": Sexy? This painting is unbearably flat and she is largely shapeless. I guess I'll yield on coquettish.

I forget how dark the world used to be. Paintings that see dark and ominous are probably just accurate depictions of how life was indoors not that long ago.

Carnation Lily Lily Rose: wow, it is all I had hoped it would be. I am enjoying watching other people (for who it is not already a favorite) look at it.

Burne-Jones "king cophetua and the beggar maid": I love his armor, her outfit is rather sexy for a beggar.

Sargent, "W. Graham Robertson": I thought that was a Sargent! The subtle transitions of blacks and greys is amazing. The cane is cool. The dog didnt get much attention. It is interesting to note the use of black and greys here in contrast to the colour and white of CLLR.

Where is the one of fireworks?

Whistler "Nocturn: Blue and Silver" impressive use of another more or less monochromatic scale.

Rossetti "the anunciation": I am intrigued by what can be found outrageous by art critics. The idea that 19th century artists would try to paint like pre-renaissance iconist is interesting and I feel cheated the Magri never covered it.

Ford Madox Brown's "take your son, sir" the idea of this picture and its unfinished nature are interesting. The baby seems so life like and the brush strokes are tiny. I also like the use of a mirror to do a blurry self portrait.

Arthur Hughes "April Love" I love the vibrant colours he has used, I am amazed they are this bright after 100 years.

Rossetti "the beloved" this is beautiful, look at those eyes, it is so bright. I miss ryann.

Whistler "Nocturn: Blue and Gold": Ahh. The one with the fireworks, it is actually a bit of a let down after the other "nocturn"

British aristocrats don't make good subjects for busts, especially when their trendy 19th century sideburns are featured.

Francis Harwood's "Bust of a Man" is beautiful, noble and amazing. The use of black marble is just right. It is amazing to see such a proud depiction of a black man coming from 1758.

I don't think much of Romantic landscapes. They lose the beauty of a natural scene by trying to amplify its grandeur. I they had just painted the mountains as they are I would like them better.

I wonder if it is an uncomfortable experience for an artist to chisel a phallus on a marble sculpture, this maybe why sculptors were willing to keep the fig leaf on men long after they had rejected it on women.

Picking one's nose in an art gallery is an amusing dichotomy.

Ruben's "Apollo bestowing royal liberty suppresses Avrice" this reminds me of comic book art, perhaps it is the dark outlines.

Ruben's "the apotheosis of james 1 and other studies" this is another painting that has that cool 3D effect, and to think this was just practice.

Tacita Dean's display: wow, that is very cool. The negative and blankness, mixed with the vaguely technical, it just works for me.

David Shrigley's "light switch" haha, I bet Devon would get a kick out of this. It is kind of distracting while I'm trying to write.

Time to go.

London: Day 5

2008-06-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I had maintenance to do. I ran laundry, checked email, went to the post office, and checked out of the Badden-Powell. I checked my big bag in the storage room, and then set off.
As I walked down the street, only a block from where I had been staying, I discovered the Brittish Museum of Science. I had planned to go to the Tate and Brittish National Gallery, but I do enjoy a good science museum, so I went in. I was well rewarded by a very impressive exhibit on steam engines and their development. They also had a space/ rocketry exhibit, which is not as good as some I have seen, but it had a great display focused on the German V-2 program. There was also an exhibit on the history, development, and future prospects of plastic. It was a decent display but I walked through it in the wrong direction and that made it odd.
After I had spent the time I had at the science I got on the train and FINALLY made it to the Tate brittian. As I entered the first gallery room there on the wall, as soon as you enter, is John Singer Sargent's Carnation Lily Lily Rose. It is magnificent, well worth traveling half way around the world to see. I had been planning to just wander and look, but I ended up doing another impressions journal. It was neat to see so many of the works I had been introduced to at school hanging on the wall in full size only inches away. I also discovered the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, a group dedicated to the style of painting from before the renaissance. The most well know seems to be Rossetti and his works are amazing. In the contemporary art wing I saw some very cool works done with white chalk on large black canvases by an artist whose name I don't remember but I wrote in the journal.
After a mere three and a half hours I left the Tate and joined the walking tour of old London. This tour goes to or past; Tower of London, Tower Bridge, London Bridge, the monument to the great fire of London, Bank of London (which is the Brittish version of Ft. Knox.), St. Paul's Cathedral, Fleet St. And the memorial to the Blitz. It was a good tour and the guide was great, (she reminded me of Leslie Anglese) but I think the royal tour is slightly better.
After the tour I wandered more around the city, coventon gardens and trafalger sq. Then I went hunting for somewhere to sleep. I found that the backpacker's inn just north of Hyde park had room and was £10 a night cheaper than where I had been. I walked across the park and the five blocks back to get my luggage. I took final advantage of their free wifi and then strapped on my pack and headed to the tube. This, in retrospect, was a mistake. The train I needed was packed with drunken, wild youths, who were banging on the windows and spraying beer everywhere. Then a train pulled in going the otherway so I switched over to it. With all the rowdiness the line I had started on was completely shut down in both directions and I needed to take two transfers to go just over a mile, but in the end I got back to my hostel and headed to bed.

London: Day 4

2008-05-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

This morning I slept late. This caused my whole plan for the day top require adjustment...
I started off by going and finding th Bevedere house another hostel that I had planned to check out. This hostel is clean and has a great staff but lacks a kitchen and the BH is £6 a night cheaper, but it turns out they are full for at least a week since most of their guests are long term.
Next I went to a place called The Dana Center, which I had noticed last night. They looked like a science musuem, but it turns out they are a functional lab/ office that hold science forums and demonstrations for the public most week nights. They also advertise a free internet cafe, so I went online to get devons attachment (my pda can't do attachments or download) and look up some directions, and take care of a few other things.
Then I went back to the library for a bit. The library has an awesome old tower that should offer a great view of kensington, hyde park, and maybe even buckingham palace, but alas this is another tower closed to the public. I ate chinese food for lunch in the cafeteria, and other than the poor excuse for chopsticks they offered, it was good.
Onto Hyde park, where they do not have canoes or kayaks only row boats and paddle boats, how lame! Also there was no action at speakers corner, but both of these dissapointments were just time killers while I waited to meet the walking tour of royal London.
On the tour we started at the Duke of Wellington momument and went down constitution lane, to Buckingham palace. Where our guilde told us about different break ins and how to tell if the queen is home. We then went to some of the adjacent royal residences and got pictures with the royal guard (though the famous Welsh guard weren't on duty today). Next we then went to Trafalger Square by way of Pall Mall, this is where the royal art gallery is, to which I must squeeze in a visit. Then we went to the royal parade ground and 10 downey street. I was amazed at how close people and cars can still get to all these sites, especially considering the bombing od No. 10 back in the 80s. Then we went past Churchill Museum and onto parliament and Westminster Abbey. It was a good walking tour, even if I already new a lot of the history the guild was able to cover in the brief time we had. Our guide was an Aussie named Craig who seemed completely un able to hold still but is a very good story teller.
I then took the tube to piccadilli and wandered around there for two more hours. I saw a number of custom shirt maker and habidashers, that I wanted to go into, but all were closed at that time of day. I checked out london china town and was disapointed to discover, it is realy just a street with chinese restaurants on both sides and a few little markets, the chinese markets at florin and 65th back home are better. Though, you can get good nunchucs there.
Since I was not going to catch a show or visit a bar picadilly/ soho doesn't have much to offer me in the evening. I left there and came back to the hostel, to get to bed at a decent hour. It still seems that London shuts down early if you're not a drinker.

Thoughts from the Tate modern

2008-05-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

About a year ago I took an Art History class and learn a lot about how to appreciate art, especially modern art, and learned about the different movements in modern art. Today I had the chance to spend a few hours in one of the world's finest galleries of modern art, and as I walked around I jotted down my random thoughts and now I will share them with you. ( if you want to see what I'm talking about visit www.tate.org.uk/modern)

The architecture of this building is not functional or atractive. (inside the open area while trying to find the excibition space.)

I want to touch jean dubuffet's texturology.

There is a lot of malarky in modern art and its interpretation

Alberto Giacometti's four figures on a base made me look up at the bottom of it to see what the artist had done with the parts that most people would not see. In the image I see what the artist was trying to express, But I also see a pedistal on which tall, super thin, women have been raised, a reflection on fashion, purhaps.

Even when odd I admire sculpture, but I only admire painting if I find it visually appealing.

Karl Schmidt-Rottluff's Two Women reminds me of paul gaugan's work in the pacif islands of nude natives. I think the color saturation is part of this.

A Kandinski! I like it!
-lake starnberg.

I don't particularly like big canvases for modern "non representative" art
-joan miro "massage from a friend"
barnett newman & many others.

I like lucio fontana's spacial concept "waiting" there is something sugestive about it but I must admit that this is imposed on the razor slashed canvas by my mind. Then I see a barely formed smile.

I like that the Tate isolates explicit and blatantly suggestive works from the rest of their collecton.

In joan mitchell's #12 I see a womans face framed by marilyn monroe type hair with eyes closed and chin up.

That is kind of pretty, I like the way the colors come together. It looks like the artist was copying monet. Oh wait, that IS "water lillies". I had no idea this was painted so recently.

Even after Magri's class, I still have no appreciation for Jackson Pollack.

Cage (1) by Gerhard Richter makes me think of looking out the window of a fast moving car. None of the other works in the set does anything for me.

How did a london gallery get "water lillies"?

A staff member jUst said "No Touching" in an ominous voice and then smiled at the offending little boy. I strikes me that if modern artists want to transend the traditional restrictions of art and redefine it, if they are going to work with new textures, the patron should be able to perceive the art with more senses than have traditionally been allowed. The gallery is trying to perserve its investment but sculpture in the past has always been exposed to the elements and in the open where it can be touched art straight from studio to gallery does not sit well with me.

Ooh, look at that!
-fred williams "burnt landscape II"

That is actually very pretty not to mention, cool.
-judit reigl "mass writing"
it makes me think of black satin painting but it is done on white canvas

I don't understand the no taking pictures rule at a public gallery.

I expected his canvas to be bigger
-piet mondrian "composition c (no. III) with red, yellow and blue"

What an ego he had
-after reading Mondrian placard

Sol LeWitt' "six geometric figures" is very cool I like the ceiling to floor wall drawing, but the pinstripping is making me dizzy.

haha. That is funny.
-terry atkinson & michael baldwin "map not to indicate"

O k I'm done here"

I don't particularly like escaltors. They are designed to allows people to standstill and get somewhere anyway.

So is the tower not accessible? Bummer!

and then I went out into the damp and grey.

London: Day 3

2008-05-30T14:07:00.000-07:00

I slept 8 hours and came down for breakfast around 8:30. Their continental breakfast seems a lot like a build your own sandwich bar plus cereals. They offer some odd juices as well, as I eat I watch oddly shaped taxis and loris drive on the wrong side of the road.

Btw: I regret not bringing my "just in case there's ice cream" spoon. Not that there has been ice cream but bad spoons abound.

it is 1:00 and I am on the tub headed for St. Paul's and the Tate. After breakfast I tried getting some more sleep but my body was not feeling up to it, so I went for a walk. I was going to look for/ walk through Hyde Park but first I came across the Imperial College of London and saw an arrow pointing towards the Library.I was able to get a visitors pass and spent 90 minute curled up with a stack of topo's and trail guilds. The library is open 24/7 (that is so cool!) so I will go back later.
as I resumed my walk I found Kensington palace and walked around it. I did not find it all that attractive, it has a rather industrial look to it with all its brick and chimneys. however, I did like all the victorian home around it that are now embassy residences.
then I found a vintage clothing shop that was very cool and found something worth going back for after my hike, it's a charcoal jacket with purple pinstripes by harod's for £5. I kept wondering and found a tube station so here I am... More to follow.

It is 5:00 and I am on the tube headed towards the tate brittan. I briefly visited St. Paul again but was not ready to pay the £10 for full admission so I haven't seen the crypt yet. Then I crossed the bridge and spent the afternoon in the Tate modern. As I went I wrote down my most prominent thoughts some things I really liked but it is the Tate Brittish gallery that has the Sargent collection that I want to see. I left the musuem and walked over a mile in the wrong direction, found a train headed the right way and got on board.

It is 7:30 pm I am in my bunk (at least for a little while) and I did not see the Tate Brittan. The exit took was not the exit I wanted after a bit of walking I got better directions and got back on the train. I got off at westminster and walked past the abbey and parliament (where I noticed and got pictures of Rodan's "burgess of calia") when I got to the gallery it was quarter past 6 and the gallery was closed. This was annoying but the worst part was I needed a rest room and had been planing to use one at the gallery. I wondered extensively looking for one, I checked a library and mini-market, some other places as well, it is like the british don't need to pee. Eventually, I found one and the took the subway back here, for a nap or food and to go on line. Later I will go back to the college library. Now that I have been here a while I need to do some better planning.

So I ended up sleeping until about 10:30 (maybe even I experience jet lag) when four new room mates from Germany arrived and I awoke. We chatted for a while then I headed out. It seems that the only thing open in London once the sun goes down are the pubs, and of course the library. I am in the library pouring over trail guildes that had been unavailable back in the state and, considering that it is 1:00am, it is rather lively here.

Quarter past 2:00 and just about time for bed it was neat to go walking on the wet streets in the middle of the night.

London: Day 2

2008-05-29T15:24:00.000-07:00

I just slept 4 hours and was then woken and served breakfast. I looked out the window just now and saw England for the first time, from up here it looks like the central valley. I get off the plane in 50 minutes and am now switching to london time, so it is just after 10:00 that means 2:00am pst and 8 hours have just vanished...

It is 12:00 in london I have just come through customs gotten my oyster ticket and discovered that I don't smell very nice... More to follow.

It is 2:00. I have gotten checked into the Badon Powell House, a hostel grandpa has used and recommended and I have done something about not smelling so good, so I am headed out...

It is 5:15 and I just bought tickets for tonight's performance of King Lear at the Globe Theater the weather is grey and damp. I hope I can stay awake through the show, it just occurred to me that this should not be a problem since I will be standing. I am getting sprinkled on at th moment and hope it stops soon because my rain gear is at the hostel. I came here by way of the museum of natural history which is in a beautiful building but has exhibits that are mainly oriented towards kids, and by way of St Pauls it is not open for sight seeing this evening but i will go back tomorrow.

Day 1:the plane trip

2008-05-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

It is 5:15 california time
We just took off from SFO. I was not willing to spend the money on food in the terminal restrants so I bought some SF sourdough at the gift shop. Right now Pt. Reyes is outside my window. The air is clear and the view is beautiful, I just wish I was not about to spend 10 hours feeling cramped...

I am now above the rockey mountains many of them have snow on them. They are starting to serve dinner. Patterns of ice have formed on the windows, they are quite pretty. Dinner was a chicken microwave thing that was just ok but it came with cheese cake...

It is 9:00 california time so I have been on the plane 4 hours. We are flying over what Mrs Dillon calls the Canadian national core, the Ontario/ Montreal region. Cities seen from above at night are very pretty. I just watched Enchanted and did not like it. It seemed to portray the princesses as week and silly and Gisselle should have been more modest.

It is 9:30 pst and I just realized that Ryann and I will not pray together tonight, and I wish there was a way we could.

Romeo and Juliet

2008-05-11T12:25:00.000-07:00

Everyone thinks Romeo and Juliet is so romantic, but if you strip it down looking for morals it is saying that if you don't listen to your parents and respect tradition then tragic things will happen. The bottom line of the story is "If you follow your heart and go against your parents will you and your true love will end up dead"

Proposing

2008-04-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

From very early on in our relationship I have been ready to marry her. As I pondered and prayed as to whether I should be with her I felt that I received a witness that she and I could be happy together, from that point forward it has been about how she felt.

Ryann has had the idea that she would know her husband when she saw him. She never saw a beam of light shine down on me or anything like that and though she knew I was good and that I love her, she didn't know if there was someone else out there.

I had been feeling like she she was overcoming her fears and concerns recently and during the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference she gave me a note that said she wanted me to take her ring shopping. Okay I think things are ready to go forward.

Before the note I had taken my great grandmother's wedding ring into a jewelry shop to get cleaned and repaired. When I had gotten home after picking it up father saw me walking around with it and I told him I didn't know what to do with it. He suggested I put it in his safe. What a great idea. But everytime mom knew I was going to be with Ryann she would ask "do I need to go get something from the safe for you" when she asked on Sunday I said "no, but probably tomorrow"

On Sunday I also asked Ryann if she wanted to go kayaking on monday since we did not get to go on our t-shirt date.

Monday after school I went to parents and worked with dad in the goat pen while waiting for Ryann to come around, and after she arrived I got cleaned up while she worked with justin on homework.

Mom invited us to stay for dinner but we wanted to eat on the lake, so we declined. She then went and got the ring out for me and gave it to me. David and Denise asked how I was doing and gave me a bit of a hard time but Ryann did not even notice.

We grabbed Subway for dinner since we hadn't gotten a more romantic picnic packed and went to the lake. We checked out a canoe from the aquatic center and found out we only had 45 minutes before the aquatic center closed. We paddeled out on the lake and went into on of the coves for a while, and then returned the boat. We drove over to the overlook on the bluffs and went over to our picnic spot.
We sat on our picnic blanket and ate then I asked if we could do some questions from our Questions for LDS Couples book. She agreed, so we went through about six questions and watched to see the temple lights come on. During this whole time I had been playing with the ring behind her back even rubbing it on her shoulder, she didn't notice.

I suggested we have a prayer and she offered it. When she reached to hold my hand for prayer I got nervous since I was holding the ring, I slipped it on my finger and took her hand, she didn't notice. After prayer, as she started to pack up, I said "there is an important question that isn't in the book" she said "yeah there are a lot of things that could be in there." I got on one knee, she noticed. I said "Ryann Bowns, will you marry me?" Her eyes got big then she got a serious look on her face, then she said "yes."

She put the ring on. There was a hug and a kiss and then we went home to tell the good news to our family.

creative date

2008-04-04T11:21:00.000-07:00

Institute is sponsoring a creative date contest right now, and Ryann and I decided to participate. We borrowed part of our date idea from her sister, who decorated t-shirts with her boyfriend about a month ago. I figured we would decorated shirts then wear them on a picnic to the lake (kayaking of course). The plan was for me to arrive at 9:00 and then we would go to the craft store and buy shirts and supplys, we would then have 1-2 hours to make the shirts and 2 hours for kayaking and eating.

The first problem was that I got going late and needed gas, so I did not get to Ryann's until 9:30. We then went to Michael's and got shirts (hers is pink mine is teal), fabric markers, stencils, and paint. We then returned to Ryann's and got set up. She had decided to do everything with paint and stencil and I was doing everything freehand with markers except a hearts shadow. Mine would say "My (heart shaped shadow) is missing" and then on the back "Ryann stole it!" hers would read "my boyfriend knows how to disney kiss." Once we had started we realized two things. It takes longer to decorated shirts than we had thought, and the paint is supposed to dry 24 hour and then be ironed before you wear it.

We decided we would go just a little longer than the original plan and then go to the lake in "regular" clothes. I was able to finish my shirt, but Ryann could only do one side of hers because it had to dry some before she could flip it over. We cleaned up most of our mess (we left some things out because Ryann wanted to work on her shirt after lunch), and then Ryann changed for the lake.

By the time we were in the car it was about 12:40. I told Ryann that time was a little tight for kayaking since loading and everything else could take a while, so we agreed we would kayak another day and just do a picnic on the bluffs. It is a very pretty spot with a good view of the lake and temple. I had made bread and a sundried tomato shmear and packed some salami and smoked provolone. I had also made a sweet apricot orange bread. Everything tasted good but the "sandwich bread" was a bit dry, and the cheese very soft. Ryann commented that she wonders if we got married if she would ever get to cook, since I almost always cook when we eat together. We did one of the questions from her "questions for couples" book about how many kids and when. This is something we had talked about before and I had said that I felt these choices were really hers since she had to carry the baby for nine months and would have more responsibility for a baby. She told me she wanted to know what I wanted in an ideal world and so I told her. I want at least two kids with no real upward limit, I think it is good and important to have them sooner rather than later and that the closer together they could be the better. She told me that these were all things she felt as well. We then talked about baby names we liked, and after a while we packed up.

I took Ryann home and kissed her good bye, and then I left.

Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged

2008-03-09T11:07:00.001-07:00

This mighty tome is deeply anchored in the concepts of personal responsibility, individual liberty and les ce faire economics. All of which are things I believe in, however I found the book a weighty read that I had to put down often because of the negative view it expresses toward human nature. I had two things that i felt Ayn Rand didn't fully appreciate in regards to the wold view she is articulating.

The first thing was that she has no particular understanding of brotherhood, I am not talking about brotherhood as in all mankind is my brother but rather brotherhood as in we share a mom and grew up together so we are brothers. Henry Rearden and his younger brother Phillip have a relationship that just doesn't make sense to me, the relationship between Dagny and Jim Tagart makes more sense to me but it is still overly simplified.

The second and more major issue was her view toward sex, it frankly seemed animalistic. Through Dagney's actions the idea is expressed that taking a lover is about finding some one strong and if someone stronger comes along it is right to leave your current lover in favor of the stronger person. This reminded me of wolves packs and herds of horses it is not a healthy attitude in people it disregard human compatibility, fidelity and morality.

Another thing that bothered me was how the character of Eddie Willers was dealt with. This is because I see more of myself in his character than any of the principals and that what happens to him seem wrong. I do not understand why his loyalty and ethic are not rewarded. I see him as a brother character to Dagny who makes sacrifices for her while still acting for himself yet his life time of hard work ultimately leaves him abandoned by the person he cares about most. I do not understand why the brakeman/ musician was invited to Galt's Gulch but Eddie was not.

I am glad I read the book even though I have a different view of human nature than Ayn Rand. however, I would not necessarily recommend the book to the average reader.

happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

For Valentine's Day I wanted to spend as much time with Ryann as possible. I woke up early and went to her place, I made breakfast for us while she read to me. We had heart shaped berry pancakes that were pretty tasty, and then spent some time just sitting and talking (and cuddling) before I had to leave. In the evening she came to work for about an hour and we had chinese food from a place I like while she told me all that she had done since I saw her in the morning. I wish there was more time we could spend together but it is a matter of quality rather than quantity and the quality was very good.

worst fortune cookie ever

2008-02-14T23:56:00.000-08:00

Tonight Ryann and I had Chinese food from a place in Rocklin that I like. We ate while I drove and she told me about her day. After an hour I took her back to her car and then realized we had neglected our fortune cookies. I called her planning to open first mine then hers but she did not pick up, so I opened mine, and figured she would call back before going to bed.

I had the thought, that it would be funny if the cookie said something about going to a hospital for lead poisoning or something along those lines. When I look down and read it my fortune said this: An interesting medical opportunity is in your near future.

frankly this may be the worst fortune cookie ever.

Ben Stein

2008-02-11T08:37:00.002-08:00

I just heard the address Ben Stein gave at the California Commonwealth Club back in January. It is excellent, I would put it on my top ten list of public speeches (not including conference talks). This link will take you to the website you can download it from.
http://fora.tv/2008/01/24/Ben_Stein_on_How_Not_to_Ruin_Your_Life

Bacon

2008-02-11T08:37:00.001-08:00

I have decided I want to try curing some bacon, so today I was reading some recipes. Of the four I read three called for saltpeter and this has really been messing with my head. Because, I know that traditionally saltpeter is made by composting urine or guano. This has been turning my stomach even though I also realize that it is now made in some chemical plant and all kinds of chemicals are in my food. I guess that knowing bacon has been around longer than chemical plants is the problem I have not reconciled.

Giving Girls Flowers.

2008-02-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

I first met Ryann on February 6 2006 so Tuesday of this week I went by her place at the end of my work day and gave her a bouquet of roses. When she saw that I had brought her roses she beamed up at me. Her smile, her bashful downward glances and the way she danced around not knowing how best to show her appreciation of the flowers made me feel wonderful. I could see that I had made her happy and made me happy.

I learned back in high school girls are always happy to be given flowers, and it is such a little thing but there is a huge reward paid in smiles.

Stereotypes

2008-02-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

Generally stereotypes are thought of as a bad thing in our culture, but they always come from somewhere.

This week I stepped into an antique shop, I collect cufflinks and antique shops can be the best place to buy them, and I met a gay stereotype. He was a well dressed, fruity little, antique dealer. He described things as lovely and gorgeous and did the thing with his wrist when he pointed at things.

Other than the many teenage girls who are valley girl stereotypes, I don't meet them often. Most athletes are not morons, most blondes are not ditsy, and most jews are not cheep. (I have met stereotypes of each of these, but not often). But does that make stereotypes bad. I don't think that it does. I don't mind when the Mormon stereotype is applied to me, at least as a baseline while someone gets to know me better.

this blog doesn't quite capture the thought I want, I might revise it later.

Ward Christmas Dinner

2008-01-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

The 15th of December was the College Oak Ward Christmas dinner and my first big project as activities committee co-chair.

The vision had been that small groups would work on different parts of the dinner over the course of a couple days so that everyone could participate and yet dinner could be nicer that just pot luck. On Monday Kristi, Bro. Curry and I went to Costco and bought most of what would be needed we then put everything in the fridge at church and called it a day. The first problem arouse the next day when another ward had the kitchen scheduled and Bishop went over and took all our stuff to his house, so this problem was easily resolved. The next problem came Wednesday night Kristi, Toa, Danny and Bishop and Sister Thomas where going to make cheesecake but we had not seen Bro. Curry's recipe until that day and it needed several hours of cook time, Kristi and I discussed some options and then Kristi and Sister Thomas decided that it was not realistic to try doing the cheesecakes and they would just be store bought. This was the best way to deal with the situation and tasted fine but moved away from my vision.

Friday morning I picked Lemons, about a bushels worth and delivered them to the Pilkington's where that night a group was going to juice them. One member of that group called and told me he would be late and might not make it at all so I called in a ringer and Devon went over for me. He and Mia juiced all the lemons and I had about 2 gallons of lemon juice.

Then the big day dawned. I met up with Bro. Curry at the church kitchen and we go the roasts in the oven and then went our separate ways for a while. At 1:00 I was supposed to have a potato pealing part at parents but had a few cancels and it was just me and Genevieve. We pealed all the while watching the Disney movie Ratatoui. Then back to the church for me. I called and got some more people there and we pealed veggies and got them in the oven, we got the potatoes onto boil and then the table and chairs crew showed up and got the cultural hall ready. I dashed off to buy what I needed for the hot drinks, I then came back and got two gallons of hot coco and 2 gallons of hot cider underway and served dinner.

The food was great but I was stressing over the program to much to sit down and eat, not to mention stepping out to stir the coco. My friend Mary Ann was going to sing for us but her accompanist could only stay a little while. Danny and Toa were going to sing for us but had not showed up yet and we were going to do a scripture reading that I had not worked out all the details for yet. I worked on breaking the Bible and Book of Mormon Christmas stories down into chunks for readers and getting readers and then introduced Mary Ann who sang beautifully for us, she did an Ava Maria and it was great then we had a pause and served cheesecake and I brought in the coco. We then listened to a recording of Scott Rivers singing a Portuguese Christmas hymn and then Ryann and Dustin sang a Spanish children's Christmas song. Both of these were lovely and I was beginning to calm down, we then did the readings and sang Joy to the World and had a closing prayer.

Cleanup went smoothly and there was plenty left over for people to take home. Though there were thing I wished had gone a bit differently I feel good about how it all came together. I don't think anyone else saw the problems I saw because they had the outside view. I still like my idea for division of labor and will try adjusting it and using it again but not around the holidays. I also need to refine how I put together programs, but for those who ate and listened I think it was a very nice evening and I am very grateful for the contributions each person made. Bro. Curry in particular, who was released as a councilor in the bishopric the following day.

What does a kiss on the cheek mean?

2007-12-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

Ryann and I had a good talk on Sunday night I told her that I needed her to communicate with me what she was feeling because I was starting to struggle with... well this is how it was, when we would be sitting and I would have my arm around her, after a while, I would get the thought "what if she doesn't love me?" I have told her I love her on a few occasions and her response has been that she did know what she wants. This was getting hard. I need to know more of what she is thinking and feeling. Sunday night she told me and it was helpful, and gives me more hope.

In Sunday school Bill had given everyone some mistletoe and this lead us to a discussion about kissing, she said that sometimes she wants to kiss me but doesn't know if she is ready. During our talk sunday night I had the thought/ desire that I should kiss her; then she could figure it out.

I didn't kiss her. That is not how I do things.

Wednesday morning I went to see her and on my way, I thought "I should give her a kiss."

I happen to have strong opinions about this sort of thing. Hugs are free, they mean hello or good bye and are a token of friendship. Holding hands means I like being with you and I am comfortable having you close to me. A kiss means "I love you" if I can't say it to a girl I won't kiss her. Sex is only for after marriage, and means something deeper than "I love you."

I have never really worked out what a kiss on the cheek means, but Wednesday morning as I was leave I kissed Ryann on the cheek. As I write this I guess that means my half of the I love you.

people want More of my stuff

2007-12-07T14:25:00.000-08:00

Last night the thieves from the night before came back and this time the took the whole car. I went out this morning to leave and see Ryann before going to the temple with Dru and found an empty parking space. My car had in it some the lab book for my geography class with a months worth of unturned in work in it. GRRRRRRR. I am a bit put out.

Why do other people want my stuff so much?

2007-12-06T14:37:00.000-08:00

For the second time this year I have had a car broken into and stuff stolen. I really don't have that cool of stuff and have a hard time understanding why other people want my stuff so badly that they will open up my car and take it. I don't even want it badly enough to do that. This time it was a camera (an old pentax SLR, with a nice but old telephoto lens), my car stereo, and my temple bag, that is the one that bugs me.

I had finaly gotten around to replacing my bike (which was stolen out of my car over the summer) and now I need to replace something else, what a hassle.

Papers and Tests

2007-12-06T14:34:00.001-08:00

We have reached the season of papers and tests. Today I turned in a History paper on the role of the mongols in history, I had done to much research though and the challenge was t keep the paper to only three pages. I have two papers, one of them is seven pages minimum, left and two in class presentations with write ups, and a couple of tests. I also have a few labs left to turn in before the semester ends. It is going to be a busy two weeks.

Amulek

2007-12-03T09:44:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a little bit about Amulek.

He was not what we'd think of as an "active member of the church" but I assume that for the most part he was righteous. Then he saw an angel. It didn't tell him to repent; only to go and feed someone. The Lord trusted Amulek to do as he was commanded. from that point forward Amulek testified of the goodness and power of God. There were still many things he learned but he went and did whatever the Lord asked him and had great faith.

I want to be like that. I want the Lord to trust me enough to say "go and help this person" and know that I will do it. Amulek had to sacrifice everything he had (he was forced to flee the city and then it was destroyed) but he never complained. His faith is an inspiration to me.

Happy birthday Ryann

2007-12-01T15:02:00.001-08:00

Today is Ryann's birthday, so we spent the morning together.

First thing this morning I took Sarah to work then I went to long's and got a gift box so I could better wrap Ryann's birthday present. I had gotten a subscription to Real Simple (a magazine I knew she would like from my trips with her to grocery stores) and I had a copy of the magazine to give her today. That was wrapped but not that well so I put it in a gift box and then I wrapped the box and added a bow.
when she opened it she was very pleased.

We walked from her Grandparents to Annie's dinner where we had breakfast and root beer floats. I had their egg burrito which has a very good salsa, and she had eggs and french toast. On the walk back she nearly froze as the wind had picked up a bit and the sun was behind a cloud. We then sat and talked a while and finally I left with an injunction for her to do some homework.

After that I went by Grandpa's and picked some persimmons for him. We talked a bit (Nana has been on my mind lately) and then I visited parents briefly and now I have to go to work.

a war of the seas

2007-11-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

Little did we land dwellers know that a fierce war has been declared under seas by the Jellyfish. They have decided that to long have invertebrates been second class citizens of the ocean. Now they are rising up. Last week off the coast of Ireland a jellyfish battle group struck out against the local salmon highway during prime commute time and killed millions. Yesterday they struck out again this time going for the young salmon by attacking a North Atlantic school for juvenile fish.

What will the fish do? Can they stand by idly while the jellys massacre them? If they really have a spine then they'll do something! And what about us? Do you believe the Jellys will be content with the sea or will they strike out against the vertebrates on land as well.

I don't know about you but I find this news very troubling.

(this is not (entirely) a joke. jellyfish swarms have killed millions of north atlantic salmon on two occasions in the past week. the second one was a school of young fish and the irish fishing industry is in economic danger. Hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.)

Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T11:32:00.000-08:00

So, my uncle Fred in Utah has a project under way and invited the family to come to Thanksgiving and help. (this sort of thing is a Pinnegar family tradition but I usually associate it with Memorial day or 4th of July or Labor day, one of the warmer holidays) My dad decided he would go, but indicated he would leave the option open to all of his older children. David decided that he and his family would do a Thanksgiving camping trip, because the had wanted to go camping all year, but with being pregnant/ having a new baby this was the first chance to do so. Devon chose Utah and when the logistics were worked out so did Jeremy.

I had to think long and hard about this. I knew I would be scheduled to work Thanksgiving unless I requested it off well in advance. I also plan to request considerable time off in December so I didn't feel I could afford to take the whole week off. I decided I would not go to Utah. I thought about joining David for a night and day, but that also proved unrealistic without requesting time off.

In the end it was decided that I would watch the house and do Thanksgiving early in the day with Grandma.

We decided to go to Mimi's Cafe for lunch. The food was not as good as mom's but it was good (except the sweet potatoes which they did wrong) and it was nice to spend some time with grandma. after lunch we sat and talked for an hour or so and then I went in to work where everything was quite and uneventful.

I have never done Thanksgiving without a family around (on the mission it was not my family but there was a family around) and it was odd. I enjoyed being with Grandma but I missed the noise and smells of a busy holiday kitchen, and the greetings and visiting with people you may not see often. It was a bit weird for me to eat out for a holiday diner and I missed the left overs (Genvieve helped out there, and invited me to left over lunch the next day and sent me home with some turkey) I think I understand better now why the holidays are a hard time for some people and feel even stronger about sharing the holidays with those alone.

Said well in song

2007-11-20T23:55:00.001-08:00

I heard two songs today and they made me think about what I want from life and my relationship.

Danny's Song by Kenny Loggins

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, and we've just begun,
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove, conceived in love,
Sun is gonna shine above.

Chorus:
And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though a month ago I beta chi, never got high,
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now a smile, a face, a girl that shares my name,
Now I'm through with the game, this boy will never be the same.

(To chorus:)
Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign, strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where there once was none, now we've just begun,
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.

(To chorus:)

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own.

(To chorus:)

and the other was
Bubbly by Colbie Caillat

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feeling like a child now
`Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts at my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
please stay for a while now
Just take your time where ever you go

The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts at my toes make me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time wherever you go

But what am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just...mmmmmmmm
[Bubbly lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

It starts at my toes makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for awhile now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da dum
Bom bo da da da da da da da da da bom
Mmm mmm

I've been a sleep for awhile now
You tuck me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose the feeling shows
'Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
holding me tight

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
wherever, wherever, wherever you go

Oh wherever you go I always know
'Cause you make me smile just for a while

Talk

2007-11-20T23:52:00.000-08:00

I gave a talk on Sunday in the Carmichael 1st ward on gratitude. I talked about Lehi's family and the brass plates and the different attitudes of gratitude that they had. I am trying to transcribe it and then I will post it so stay tuned.

What did you do today?

2007-11-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

If someone asked me the question "what did you do today" they would no doubt be caught off guard if I said

Today I did battle with Satan for my soul, after he attacked me and intended to take me captive. The battle was fierce. Satan tried to wear down and get inside my defenses but time and again I called for back up and with help repelled the assault.

He chose to attack me because he hates me and fears what I can do.

I must always remember his goal is my utter destruction and I must fight him and help others to fight him and always seek the defensive position of higher ground.

But every day that answer would be accurate.

Ah, breakfast

2007-11-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

Saturday morning I got to take Ryann out to breakfast.

The plan was that I should arrive at 9:00 and by that time she would be awake and prepared to face the day. Although she was awake and dressed, Ryann was not prepared to face the day at 9:00 so we started slow: we took the dog for a walk.

Ryann's grandparents house backs up to a pleasant little park and we went out through their gate right into the park. We spent a little while watching the small children play soccer on fields reduce to their scale, a thing which alway amuses me. We then sat on a cold park bench for a few minutes and dealt with the socialization of dogs in parks. By the time we got back to the house Ryann was ready for breakfast.

We chose to walk rather than drive the two blocks to the neighborhood diner, since it was such a pleasant fall morning. We arrived shortly and were seated in the busy little breakfast shop. Ryann had French Toast and I had scrambled eggs with biscuit and gravy, we were both very content after our meal and the walk home was most pleasant.

I am a big believer in the efficacy of breakfast dates, and this one was combined with one of my other favorite dates: going for a walk. It was a most enjoyable morning.

How can a day not be good when you get to skip rocks?

2007-11-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Friday was a very good day.

I woke up after a night of troubled sleep and went to my parents to pick up a few needed things, and then went to pick up Scotty. T. Scott Rowan is in town because of a concern he played Thursday night and so I get to hang out with him.

We start out by going to the 8:30 temple session, which was great as always. When it is over Scotty says to me I am hungry can I buy you lunch. This is a proposition to which I am completely amenable, so we go to Beech Hut Deli, where I get my favorite sandwich: The Woody. Tim had one of their open face BBQ sandwiches and enjoyed his as well.

Then I drove us out to the Salmon Falls trail head, for our plan from the very beginning had been to go on a hike. But, somehow, in stead of the trail we gravitate towards the river (having dismissed rappelling from the bridge as an option) and of course my eye turns to the shore in search of flat round stones. I find one! I pick it up and carefully examine it. I grasp it between my thumb and index finger, I cock my arm back and let fly. The stone stuck the water and instead of sinking (as stones most often do when they have an intimate encounter with a body of water) it skipped back up into the air. It came done again a few feat away, and much to my delight, it skipped back up again. This time, however, nature took her course and the rock suck tragically to the bottom of the river. My revelry at this wondrous event is soon interrupted with a CAHHHCHUNK noise and a splash. Scotty has Throne a large rock into the smooth water and has a look of exuberance on his face.

For the next hour we repeat this course of action. Sometimes throwing smooth small stones so that gleefully skip across the water and sometimes throwing large rocks that make fun noises and send the displaced water flying to impressive heights. Meanwhile we talk of this and that: what we have lately read and what turns our lives have taken since we last spent time together. After about an hour we concluded that we were done at the river and would go see Devon, but before we left there was a thing that must be done. We each selected as large a rock as we felt comfortable carrying and strode up the path to the bridge and with child like delight we dropped these rocks from the bridge into the water from a height of at least 50 feet. Even now, recalling the slash as my stone struck the rippling translucent surface brings joy to my heart.

Next the two of us drove to Devon's work where he treated us to a free race. He however had to go to Costco and could only chat for a moment. I was very pleased to discover that RPM has new racing karts with adjustable seats, because the thing that has limited my enjoyment of the RPM experience in the past has been a lack of leg room. My best lap was 23.7 seconds and Scotty's was 27 point something, I think. At this point Devon was gone and Thus we quietly snuk out the back door, since it was getting to be time for me to go to work.

Before heading to work proper, I had been asked by my boss the day before to come into the office. Since the company office is on the way home from RPM I asked Scotty if he would mind waiting while I went in and saw my boss. He indicated to me that he would rather be rolled in shards of broken glass and then dipped in boiling lemon juice, so I went to the office.

I am always apprehensive when I am asked to go to the office, that is just how I perceive bosses in general and has nothing to do with either my current boss or my behavior at work. So when I arrived and the only people there were the GM, Todd, and the owner, Bryon and Todd said do you want to tell him or should I, I freaked out, just a little, on the inside. Then Bryon had me come into his office, frowned at me and said, "Is there anything you want to tell us(Todd had come in as well and shut the door behind him, even though there was no one else in the building)"

My mind raced, had a client complained about my driving to fast, had I missed something important and obvious on patrol, were my site times wrong, had a automatic stoplight ticket been mailed in (not that I make a habit of running stoplights, but one can never know.) these and other thoughts raced through my head as I gave him a puzzled look and said, "No".

He replied "Good" and then proceeded to tell me that they had decided to promote me to Captain, (to which I tactlessly responded good because I had been thinking about asking for a raise). They then briefly filled me in on my new responsibilities, which I feel will be easy enough, and then sent me on my way with a generous "cash bonus" for coming into the office.

I then took Scotty to my parent's and proceeded to work where nothing happened that could have in anyway reduced the goodness of my day.

crazy workin'

2007-11-05T14:13:00.000-08:00

Friday I worked from 3:30pm to 3:30am and them had things to do so I didn't get to bed until almost 6:00 then had to be up at 7:30 to be at the church to give maps to people headed to apple hill, and fulfill my calling then I took Sarah Hunt to work then I went home and got a few more hours of mediocre sleep before I had to get up and go to work again. Once again 3:30 to 3:30 this time there was daylight savings to mess with my schedule so it was a 13 hour shift. Once again when I got off work there was stuff I needed to do for my calling and I was not in bed 'til about 5:00.

Last night I went to bed early and slept like the dead for a good 10 and a half hours.

Harry Potter.

2007-11-05T13:58:00.000-08:00

I often wait for the hype to die down a bit before I do something. I don't usually go to a movie on opening night for instance. This habit has held true for the Harry Potter books I didn't even start the series until Order of the Phoenix was out and I have waited a few months before getting around to each of the subsequent books. Thus, last week I finally came to the conclusion of the series. I have enjoyed the books. I particularly enjoyed that Rowlings writing progressed with each book as the young readers who found her early own developed their reading skills.

I will not spoil the ending but I will say that I found it suitable but was wishing that fewer characters stayed dead.

lunch with mom and dad

2007-11-05T13:44:00.000-08:00

On Friday I took my parents out to lunch. We went to the Oak Cafe which is on campus at ARC. It is the practical lab for the culinary arts program, each week they have a different menu depending on what the students are working on. Our Menu was an Italian menu developed by Kirt Spataro a big name chef here in town. For appetizers we could choose fried calamari or a vegetable soup (mom and I had calamari dad had soup) for entre the choice was hand made ravioli filled with fresh greens and ricotta (me and mom again) or Aqua Pazza a seafood dish with clams and halibut and potatoes (dad's choice) and for dessert there was Panna Cotta or Quince Crostada (we all chose the latter)

It was a good chance for the three of us to just sit and talk as well as a chance for me to support my school. While we waited for our seat dad and I watched Parker's blacksmithing class and over lunch I asked what was going on in the lives of my various siblings.

All in all it was a most enjoyable lunch.

Auto Repair

2007-10-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

I have a goal relating to self reliance and that is that I learn to work on my own car. A trip to the mechanic's shop is always a pretty big hit to the wallet and it is nice to be able to do things for yourself. But, I have not previously been overly interested in cars so I have only a rudimentary knowledge of principals and no actual experience. So it was kind of exciting for me today to take the cracked radiator out of my car today and put the new one in all by myself. Dad was around and I did ask him a couple of questions and use his tools but I did all the work.

I bought my car knowing it would need some work but it seemed like a good car to learn about fixing cars. I feel good about today and the radiator was the most pressing issue with the car. After my next pay day I think I will do an oil change and tune-up including changing the belt, because that is next on the list of things my car needs.

At Parents.

2007-10-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

Though I have only lived with them a few weeks out of the past seven years one can reliably find me at my parent's house on sundays. The why is about 25% because I love them and 75% because it is nye onto impossible to beat whatever mom is cooking. Well maybe those numbers are off.

Tonight mom had made roast beef and mashed potatoes, very tasty! L.B. and Genvieve joined us while Ryann and Crystal declined.

After diner and once the little people were in bed parents and I had a talk about many things mainly centered on the gospel and my spiritual goals and what I have learned as I struggle towards them. We talked about the temple in particular, as well as personal revelation and the fact that God serves his children by prompting us to be where we are most needed. As I related one of my experiences from this week with them I was completely overwhelmed by emotion. It was good for me to have the chance to talk in depth with someone about what I have been feeling and the revelations I have received. I also listened as dad shared some of his recent challenges and growing experiences form the high council.

After mom went to bed dad and I got started with politics and talked for another hour and a half or so. Our conversation revolved around the idea that during a presidential primary there is the struggle between voting for the most relevant candidate and the one that most closely represents your own ideology. I talked about why I am ideologically a libertarian but registered republican, and how I reconcile some of the more radical ideas of the libertarians with my religious convictions. We also discussed Mitt Romney and why I don't want him to be president (it has nothing to do with his politics and everything to do with my religion) and Giuliani and who his running mate will be (dad and I both figure he will end up getting the nod). As well as theories of international relations and the election strageties of both parties over the past few decades. Then we saw the time and dad said goodnight and I came back to my apartment.

Maybe even more than moms cooking is the fact I can have nice long conversations with people I care about, and who love me even when I sound a bit crazed.

Facebook

2007-10-27T01:49:00.000-07:00

I am now a part of the online social networking movement. I blog but I have never joined any "real" social networking sites but today I decided to join facebook for three reasons, 1)a lot of my friends use it. it seems that I was the last person in my ward not on facebook and with the new calling it seemed appropriate to join the crowd. 2)The interface seems pretty good, I think being able to announce events and activities will prove to be a good thing, the photo hosting seems very good and the ability to fling sheep at people has unbelievable appeal to me. 3) the generate traffic to the blog. I blog principally for my own benefit but it is nice to be read and most of my blogger buddies have moved on so I will use my facebook page to point people here to the blog. and if in three weeks I am bored of it I will just stop using it.

things of the spirit

2007-10-23T00:06:00.000-07:00

This last week I had two goals: shun anything that would offend the Spirit, and do anything I can to bring the Spirit to me.

As I did this I felt closer to God than I can describe. I was able to receive personal revelation and insights into the scriptures, I was blessed with the opportunity to serve people and best of all I had peace.

It was a very good week

New Spam Warning

2007-10-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

I got spammed this morning, not that surprising, I know. It made it through my filter and I even opened it and it was bad so I thought I'd pass on the warning.

The email came claiming I was found on classmates.com, but I didn't recognize the name it was a short email with text saying something like "I went to school with you, do you remember me here is a link to my website" the link was to a porn site.

If you receive an email claiming to be from someone who found you on classmates.com and you don't remember them you might check a yearbook before opening any links.

Mid Terms

2007-10-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

This is a busy week I have Midterms and I am working on a personal spiritual development project, so I don't have much time to blog. By Tuesday I should be able to fill you in on school stuff and the spiritual project, so stay tuned.

next adventure

2007-10-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

My next adventure is slated for the week between christmas and new years. Dallas and I will be headed to Ventana wilderness at big sur for at least 3 day 2 night 20 miler, and maybe 4d 3n 50 miler. Thing are still up in the air and if anyone wants to come with I will try and accommodate.

Wonka wisdom.

2007-10-15T22:19:00.000-07:00

Willy Wonka wisely said, "For some moments in life there are no words"

'Cause Two Blogs Are Better Than One

2007-10-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

I now have a second blog. It is a product review and general opinion blog, so it does not really go into anything important but it can provide a glimpse into my life. Feel free to check it out at darrensopinions.blogspot.com

Al Gore got WHAT!

2007-10-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

Sorry but I think the folks in Stockholm have stepped off the political deep end and in so doing may have destroyed the credibility of their award in the eyes of conservatives. It is of course their right to give their $1,500,000 award to whom ever they please but I see no connection, direct or indirect, between publicizing global warming and working for world peace.

The Nobel Peace Prize lost much credibility among conservatives in 1994 when Yasir Arafat was awarded the prize along with Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin because Arafat never denounce violence and was considered by many to be a violent promoter of terrorism until his death. He got the prize because he acknowledged that Israel had the right to exist as a country but he continued to fight (you know, with guns) over where it it could exist.

Now Al Gore is given the prize for making a politically motivated diatribe of a movie about global warming that the scientific community acknowledges seven major errors in. This seems to to show the Noble Prize commitee to be a purely political body.

in conclusion what do Jimmy Carter, Al Gore and Yasir Arafat have that Mahatma Ghandi does not, Nobel Prizes for Peace

Lunch with Crystal

2007-10-12T13:52:00.000-07:00

Today after the funeral I had lunch with Crystal. We had soup and sandwiches at woody's and got caught up as to the happenings in our lives. We talked about many things including; what we want from life and what it is that motivates us. She asked what time church is and told me she might come. I hope she does, I know that she belongs their.

Fern Greenwood

2007-10-12T13:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I went to the funeral services for Fern Greenwood. I was somewhat reluctant to go, at first, but it was a lovely service that brought back to me the wonderful childlike person she was, and I am now very glad that I was there.

Last night I was thinking about the Lords instructions to the faithful that we visit the widow and the orphan. At the time I was thinking about who they where, in our society the widow and orphan are not in the same situation as those long ago. It occurred to me that the council is to reach out not just to the poor but also the lonely and poor in spirit. Though I am blessed by my relationship with Dru and I always feel good about the time I spend with her, Arlene Sprout is in much more need of company and companionship, but I don't visit Arlene because I am less comfortable with her. The time I spent with Fern was not always comfortable but in retrospect I gained so much perspective from it. Today I am made aware anew that it is not just the widow and orphan who are blessed when we visit them, but we are blessed as well.

At baptism we make the covenant to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, this is what visiting the widow, the orphan, the sick, and the afflicted is really about, it is the Lords work and when we do it we will be blessed. what does this mean to me: I need to visit Arlene.

bitter sweet release

2007-10-11T14:51:00.001-07:00

For the past 26 months I have served as the Elders President in the Collage Oak Ward. I have learned a lot in that time and grown so much. I have enjoyed working with the bishop and learned much from him about loving those we serve. I have also been blessed with great councilors who have truly blessed my life.

This is a big change for me that opens a door to a new part of life.

Yay I'm Posting!

2007-10-11T09:31:00.000-07:00

In the past ten days I've been to the temple three times, it is great that there is one so close.

Last week I had a question about a girl weighing on my mind so on Wednesday I went to the temple so I could ponder and pray about my situation. Friday I had invited Mom, Dad, Devon, and David all to come with me for an a.m. session, only Dad was able to come and he and I had a great conversation while in the celestial room.

By the time the weekend came I had peace and everything seemed fine. I was asked by a dear friend of mine, Dru Corsiglia, who is a widow, to do the temple work for her late husband. This is very touching for me and I look forward to going through for him.

Then yesterday Devon and I were able to go through together. While we were in the session I had an insight into what it means that Christ is "our advocate with the Father." Then later, while I was at Institute the Spirit bore witness of the truth of that insight to me.

The temple is truly the house of the Lord and by going there we can receive great blessings.

rebuked!

2007-10-07T19:14:00.000-07:00

Today was General Conference and elder Eyring spoke and talked about the importance of recording the things that happen in our, life particularly highlighting what the lord has done for us. I felt somewhat rebuked by this because it has been a year since I posted last and this serves almost exclusively as my journal, so I will write a few posts to get things, more or less, upto date, and then try posting at least once a week.

2006-10-09T18:23:00.000-07:00

News

2006-09-14T12:17:00.000-07:00

I am not going to say a much about it here but I thought I should post anyway.

This past weekend I broke up with Ryann. She is a wonderful girl and I am ever greatful for the time I had with her but after prayer and much consideration I felt very strongly that it was time for us to move on.

I hope very deeply that she and I are able to still have a strong friendship.

arcata

2006-09-14T09:58:00.000-07:00

I have an a signiture outfit, not because it's stylish but because I find it to be very practicle. A pair of "dockers" type pants, a tee shirt , and a long sleeve button up shirt. It protects the arms and neck from the sun, poison oak or what ever else you might be exposed to. With the shirt unbuttoned and untucked it is pretty causal but all tucked in it is dressed up enough for all but the most snooty of restuarants, and I feel comfortable wearing it into church or to give a blessing.

I wear this outfit to school, into the woods and on dates and I have never felt over or under dressed in it until just recently. While Ryann and I were in Humboldt we went to the farmers market on saturday morning in Arcata, the town that is home to Humboldt State, and I fetl like I had walked into a biker bar wearing a tux. Everyone was wearing tee shirts (with the exception of the girls in halter tops) even though it was cool out, lots of baggy and torn jeans, lots of tie dye, lots of billowy hippy dresses, lots of beards and lots of dreds. There was not so much, deoderant, shaving, showering, or general personal hygene.

Ryann and I had a talk about whether hippies all just end up in Humboldt or whether being in Arcata just turns otherwise clean people into hippies. We never reached a conclussion.

A Long Weekend with Ryann

2006-09-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Ryann and I took a three day weekend and went up to Humboldt County. The pretense for the trip was to do some research in the library at HSU for a paper she is writing, but she planned a rather full weekend and that was only an hour or two of it.

We left after work on Friday night she drove for the first hour while I got some sleep and then I drove the rest of the night. We got to Eureka about 6:00am and went to point head hoping to see the sunrise and some tide pools. The tide pools were good with lots of starfish and anemones but the marine layer was to thick to see the sun. We then went to Ryann's dads place and got a few hours sleep.

In the afternoon we went to a farmers market and the library and then had diner with Ryann's parents at her favorite Mexican restaurant. After diner She and I went for a walk downtown, then it was back to her dad's for some much needed sleep.

Sunday we slept in. Then we had breakfast and went to church. Ryann got to see a lot of people she knew from when she live up there, but some of the people she had hoped to see had already gone away to school. After church we went to the beach which was very nice. We ate diner with her dad and Kirsten (whose name I may have just butchered) then she and I went out for the evening. We went for a walk in Sequoia Park, which, in addition to huge trees, has some of the best swings I have ever been on. Then we went and visited with Ryann's aunt and uncle and went on another walk through her old neighborhood.

Monday we packed back up, in the morning and spent the afternoon at the schools. We first made a stop at College of the Redwoods where Ryann had been a student, it is a very lovely campus and not nearly as busy on the first day of school as ARC is. After we were done there we proceeded on to Humboldt State. I dropped Ryann off at the Library and then drove to the Institute on the other side of the campus. It took a while for me to find Ryann again but that was kind of the point, I could slowly look for her while she looked for information. HSU has some very cool maps in their library that slowed down my search for Ryann. By the time I found her she had decided she was just about done, She had found the book she was looking for but it couldn't be taken out of the library and it had more information than she could absorb in a timely fashion.

From the Library we went to say good bye to Ryann's Dad at his work, then began the drive back home. We stopped a few times on the way to go for a walk or get in a nap and we got back into town around 3:00 on Tuesday morning.

It was a very enjoyable trip, between the driving and the walks we went on Ryann and I had a number of very good talks. It sure was hard to go back to work on Tuesday.

Into the woods

2006-08-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

This week I made two brief excursions into the woods.

The first trip was a whirlwind 24 hour visit to Yosemite. Ryann's family was going down there for the day as part of the summer of California fun before moving to Utah in a few weeks, and I was invited along. Seeing as I had never been and even a quick trip to the mountains was better that no mountains at all, I decided to go.

Ryann and I left after church on Sunday once she had packed her things and we caught up with her family in Elk Grove. Almost right away Ryann (who was in my car) said she was tired. I told her to go ahead and sleep now because I might nee her awake once we got into the mountains. The drive went surprising quickly and about 10pm we where at the Mariposa KOA outside of the park.

In the morning we drove for an hour to the parks south entrance then went hiking in the giant sequoia grove for about two hours, Then it was more diving to Glacial Point which offers a spectacular view of half dome, Nevada falls and the valley. and ate lunch their. I had told every one earlier that I would need to leave from their around 1:30 to get to work and Ryann was going to stay with them. Well Ryann decided she wanted to stay with me but at the designated time we couldn't find her family so she wrote them a note and stuck it one their car and we were off again. We drove through the valley and out the north entrance. Before leaving we said a prayer that we would travel safely, that her family would not worry about her and that I get to work okay, then we bought the most expensive gas I have ever seen (3.99 a gallon, uck) and drove home. We made good time, Ryann slept again and when she was awake she read to me, I was glad to have her along. I went straight to work and got there a few minutes late. Almost exactly 24 hours after leaving.

The next day I described Yosemite as "a lot like nature, but with traffic jams" It is a very pretty place and even though it was a short trip spent largely in the car I am glad I got to go.

The second trip into the woods was Saturday with Tammy. Early this summer she had asked if we could go on a hike before school started back up, she figured if I picked a good hike around ten miles or so, it would give her something to work for when she exercised. I of course had been very happy to oblige. I picked the Loch Leven Trail up near donner summit, an 8 mile round trip with 1200 feet of elevation change and three lovely sierra lake to stop at.

We left around 7:00 and got to the trail about and hour later, the hike up was very peaceful and we only saw three people. One was hiking out, one was camped at upper lake and one was a wonderer following the railroad tracks who I told that there was a ranger station by the trailhead where he could by a map. We got up to the last lake around 11 I have been on the trail several times but never to the third lake it is very pretty and there is a near by hill with a very impressive view. The weather was just right cool with a bit of a breeze. Tammy had put some birthday candles and a hostess cupcake in her pack and she sang me happy birthday while we were up their. As we hiked down the hill we saw about fifty people hiking in. It made me very happy for the early start.

I would like to head back up there before the season ends because there is another lake about two miles beyond where the trail ends that I would like to go cross country and camp at.

Two hike this week is a good start to a late hiking season. Maybe I can get two more in next week.

Girl Friend

2006-08-08T14:38:00.000-07:00

For the first time in quite a while I have a Girl Friend, not a "girl friend," or a friend who is a girl, but an actual Girlfriend. About three weeks ago we decided that our relationship was at the point where we should be using those titles even if they can seem a little juvenile, if for no other reason, because it makes it easier to discuss. I have been a little surprised that other things began to charge once we went from just dating to "going out," I suppose it had been a little naive to think of it as just a convenient way to describe where things are at in a relationship.

So far things are going very well between us, we do a good job communicating with each other and we have fun together, she says I actually go and do all these things that she wants to go do but never does. She also sets a wonderful example for me on spiritual things, when we are together we always pray over our food, no matter where we are, something I often over look when alone. I had been concerned at first because she hadn't seen much of my sillier side, the one that puts army men on door steps and loves HHG2G, but she seems okay with what she has seen of it, and I think Rosie or Crystal may have warned her as to how bad it can get.

I had also forgotten how much input I would get on the subject of Ryann. I knew My Grown Ups would tell me what they thought of her and want to talk about her with me, but I hadn't thought about the fact that Rosie would want to come to church with me so she could me her and Jordan would write home with his two cents on the subject, or that I'd get an email from Spain about how good from me somebody thought she would be.

For now I will try and be inclusive of that part of my life in this record with out be mushy or seeming a gossip.

A Quick Update

2006-07-05T15:24:00.000-07:00

I have failed to keep this upto date lately so this is a quick update, hopefully I will expand on some of these things with there own posts in the near future.

work:

I no longer work at the hotel. I am now a security guard at a carreer school in Rancho. I work fewer hours but get the same take home pay and there is a good chance for promotion. but this means I have less internet access than before hence fewer blogs.

adventures:

Jordan and I went back to the waterfall in ASRA that I think I have mentioned before and set up a really cool tyrolian traverse and I got really bad poison oak.

Dallas and I spent a saturday last month wandering around looking for a trail that had a bad habit of dissappearing on us. We eventually gave up on the trail and went rappelling down the North fork dam instead.

I took Devon, Jordan, Tawny (whose name I misspell), her freind (who name I don't remember), Brian, Felicia, and Steve into the American river canyon at Echru Bar it was a enjoyable day for me but the goal of going rock climbing was never realized. I did however go rappeling off a bridge and into the very cold water of the north fork.

Camping with the Fam. We just had a family reunion at Prosser creek resevoir in truckee. It was alot of fun we went rock climbing/ rappeling near donner summit and I spent enough time in my kayak that I got sunburnt on my legs (I hate that). I also got to bake bread in dutch ovens, do liquid nitrogen ice cream and, made LN2 depth charges that kept going off in the air. also got to learn some cool stuff about the high seirra and its early settlers.

Girls:
as always a complicated part of life.

I finaly reached personal resolution over what happened with marquel about a month ago, and have moved on.

Christie is engaged, that happened very quickly and raised some complicated feelings in side me. Not that I have been carrying a tourch for her but I don't want to see her get hurt and it seemed to me initialy that with as fast as things were moving that was likely to happen.

I have been on quite a few dates many with Ryann and I think I really like her but I am moving slowly as always.

Church:

It would be in acurate to say my testimony has had problems but my obediance has definatly had a hiccup or two in the resent past. I need to get my daily prayers back to what they should be, that would make a big differance.

I also need to restructure my quorum presidentcy, Jordan just left for his mission and one of my councelors moved out of the ward. I submitted a list of names to the bishop but because of people being here just for a few weeks more some of those names won't work out.

Crystal came to church with me twice this month and that was really cool.

...

Well that is about it. I hope to write more about some of these things in order to have the record more complete but this is better than nothing for now.

Swing, swing, swing

2006-03-30T21:31:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was the Sacramento Lindy Exchange, Three days and four nights of great music and awesome dancing, with the whole world invited.

Thursday was a normal thursday night swing at the german cultural center, I invited everyone I knew who showed even the slightest interst in dancing. Jordan Devon Jana and I went with others providing excuses like, "I have to work", "I don't feel well" and "I live in Indiana and have school friday morning" pshh. We got there to late for brothers to catch much in the way of a lesson and Devon was not feeling 100% but Jordan still made an impressive effort. Jana of course is a girl so she only had to follow and seemed to have a really good time. After leaving I stuck with the theme and fell asleep watching Swing Kids.

Friday I went to school in the morning the went and finished Swing Kids and got caught up on sleep.

Friday Night Swing was at Temple of the Eastern Star across the street from Sutters Fort and just a few blocks from Suz' place. I stopped in to say hi to her then went dancing. Live Band nice place and most of the people I danced with were out of towners. I had work at 11:00 so I dance as late as I could then I zipped in to work.

Saturday there was FREE dancing in the afternoon. I had told Jana to call me around 1:00 if she wanted to go. She called but said she wasn't able to go dancing so I called Christie and invited her. (along time ago I asked Christie to teach me to dance, she told me that she liked to do it but couldn't teach me. That would wait for another young lady) She agreed to join me. By the time we got downtown it was 3:00 I had thought dancing went until six but it ended at 4:30 so we only got to dance a little. Christie used to dance fairly often maybe she will start again.

As I was leaving I saw Ron (the super awesome dude who was playing host for the Exchange) and told him it had been fun. He was somewhat taken aback that I was not going Saturday night to see the legendary Barbara Morisee, to which I explained I could not justify the cost of the ticket since I would have to leave for work about 10:30. Ron then did something very nice for me and gave me a great deal on a pass for that night.

The bummer is I still didn't get to dance to anything by Barbara. I came in as she was wrapping up a set and she came back on as I was leaving. I did however get to dance to her live band and they were amazing. Saturday night I only had time for about 5 dances and so I danced with the people I had had the most fun dancing with earlier. The last Dance was with a girl named Amy from OR and it was the best I had ever danced.

Other people danced all night long Friday Saturday and Sunday but what I got was enough, it was more than enough it was Awesome.

my body

2006-03-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

Some days I feel like I am falling apart. I am only 25 and I already have arthritis. I have knees that often ache from standing at work, and I often wake up with a back that is stiff and sore. Ontop of all that with my lapse in cycling I am keanly aware that my endurance, strength and lung capacity are decreasing.

But when I demand something of my body it always delivers. canoe, walk, run, dance, pull all-nighters at work, I often end up sore and tired but I always make it to the otherside of the challenge, and that is pretty cool.

As beautiful as days get.

2006-03-20T22:19:00.000-08:00

Saturday was gorgous!!! I started the day at partents house and took mom at the lillte people to the air show. Then I went to Folsom and helped get a canoe trailer ready for the season. This was the cost of me borrowing the canoe for a few days. When the trailer was ready I drove up to Camp Nauvoe. I loaded the canoes onto the trailer and then had to drive out. I was more than a little concerned at the prospect of driving the steep and winding one lane road with a trailer but it was not bad.

I then drove out to Slough House where david and the older brothers where doing a service project, on the way I crested a small knoll and I could see snow falling on the high seirra on one side Mt. Diablo on the other and snow dusted Sutter Buttes to the north. The sky was a perfect blue with just the right number of clouds scattered across it, and the grass was tall and green. It was absolutly pefect.

I took longer than I had hoped to assemble my family and our 2:00 trip to the lake didn't happen until 3:30 and Devon had to work, Dad was gone, and David was sick so he and 'Neicy stayed home. So it was Mom, Jordan, Dallas Me and four little people. When we got out to the lake everybody enjoyed the canoe trip over to the area I think of as florida. it was a great day to be out side.

B.I.Q.

2006-03-20T21:42:00.000-08:00

Whether you pronounce it Bi Que, or Bic, The B.I.Q. is the Bad Idea Quotent. The last few weeks I have dedicated much time and mental energy into developing a set of calculation to analyticaly deterime if something is a bad idea.

Now I am not done yet but I have determined the catagories to be scored:

Harm, this is how it got started, I had the thought "a course of action that leads to the harm of oneself goes against the survival imperative and is therefore a worse idea then a course of action that would harm others." (Don't ask why I was thinking this) so harm has been made two distinc factors: risk of harm to self and risk of harm to others.

Punishment, this started out as jail, but I then realized that not all punishment is jail so I broadened the catagory.

Social Consequence, this catogory is complicated and is one of the major stumbling blocks to the equations, because not all relationships are equal.

the first draft used a number of 1-5 scales and some simple multiplication but it didn't allow for some important subtleties. The next draft still used the 1-5 scale and some binaries, that was better but more complicated than I wanted. I have also toyed with setting it up as a truth table but when reducing it to bianaries I figured flow chart would be better understood.

I should have a functioning prototype by the end of the week, but If you have any thought feel free to submit a comment.

yeah!! devon is home.

2006-03-20T21:34:00.000-08:00

Devon got home from his mission in Tennesse about two weaks ago. I have not blogged since then, but this is a very big deal. The first night he was home the quarter inch army raided the bases of several hostiles.

We don't get to play as much as I'd like (he already has a job and is on jury duty this week) but we have gone on a group date and tonight we have an adveture scheduled. Also he will be attending my ward and that is exciting too.

making bread is happy

2006-02-26T00:02:00.000-08:00

Making bread is happy
Eating bread is happy
Eating bread you baked is the best.

This is what I explained to my mother this evening.

I thought I was going to a church "pot luck" type social this evening, so between last night and this afternoon I baked a dozen mini loafs of bread, some potato bread and some french bread. I love making bread I find it very pleasing to the senses.

The smells of yeast and rising dough and the loaf fresh out of the oven. The subtle warmth of freshly milled flower (that's right I start making bread by grinding my own flower) the soft and yielding potato dough as I knead it, the stickiness of the french bread dough after rising in the fridge all night. The golden browns of the loaf done baking. And of course the taste of warm bread and melted butter as you take a bite.

I much prefer baking bread over cookies or some other dessert (not that I'd pass up a slice of pie for a slice of bread,) It just makes me happy to bake bread and to share it with others. I gave a loaf to a girl last night and another today to Eileen after learning the church social was cancelled.

It bothers me that other people don't bake bread. They may argue that it takes along time, to witch I rebut "nuht uh." 15 min to put together your dough and then you put it in the fridge and forget about all day, then when it is time to start diner you shape the loafs or rolls and then through it in the oven. Now that is a bit over simplified but it is the gist of it.

Bread is simple. Bread is happy.

Make some bread.

redwoods & waterfalls

2006-02-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

Monday of this past week there was no school, so I requested two days off work and went camping.

I was not prepared to go to the snow so I headed for the coast instead. There are three state parks in the Santa Cruz Mountains between S.F. San Jose and Santa Cruz. I have never stayed at any of them, so I decided to do the waterfall loop in Big Basin Redwoods S.P. between Santa Cruz and San Jose.

Fearing Bay Area traffic I originally planned to leave early, like three in the morning, but I slept through my alarm clock and didn't leave until 7:30. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because if I am to tired to get up, I am to tired to drive. And, with the holiday, traffic was smooth all the way down.

When I got to the park I discovered that you can't pay camping fees with plastic so I had to drive back into "town" for an ATM. (Boulder Creek has an independent gas station, a whole foods store, some antique shops and a whole bunch of hippies, not much of a town really) Then I went back to the park and got registered and parked. [at this point I also found I had packed two left hiking boots so I ended up doing the trails in sneakers :o( ]

I then shouldered my gear and took off. I first went to Semperviens falls witch is over by the big campgrounds and a mile or so away from the trailhead I wanted to follow, but I had time and the extra hiking was good for me. Semperviens is the smallest of the falls I saw but maybe the prettiest. It drops 20 or so feet on a small creek into a quite pool and is just very pleasant.
Then I headed back to the trailhead and started going up. Sunset trail winds through the woods and up over a pair of ridges about 5 miles to the Sunset trail camp where I planned on sleeping. It gains five hundred feet then drops back down to about the starting elevation then gains them all back as you approach the campsite. It was a good place to start my prep for this summers big hike and I reminder that I have been spending to much time in the car.

The sunset trail camp has a vault toilet and some nice flat spaces to pitch a tent but no fires are allowed and you have to hike a ways to the creek to get water. After the sun went down I was dazzled by all the stars I could see considering I was less then fifty miles from two of California’s biggest cities, it was beautiful. I ate a simple meal of rice with a chicken sauce then went to bed. Having slept in that morning I did not fall asleep very quickly but I was still out much earlier than I would have been had I been at home.

The next morning I awoke with the sun and went exploring. I hiked down the trail I would be on later and viewed all three of the waters falls in the morning light. When I got to the bottom of the canyon to where Berry Creek Falls is I noticed that If I could be back down to it with all my gear in 45 minuets or so I would have the perfect lighting for taking pictures of it. I hustled back up the canyon and broke camp. I then filled my water bottles for the day and started the hike down. I now had my gear with me to slow me down and on top of that, I kept wanting to stop and take pictures of things. One of the cameras I had with me I got from Grandpa and it is kind of tricky so I kept trying to figure it out. By the time I got back to berry creek falls I had missed the lighting I was hoping for but I still had a rainbow. And while I was taking a few pictures of the fall I finally figured out the camera. Turning the crank one way advanced the film but then you had to turn the crank back the other way to cock the shutter, oh, how simple. I then dropped my gear and hiked back up to silver falls and golden falls to get pictures of them with that camera as well.

In the space of a mile the skyline trail follows berry creek past Golden Falls Silver Falls and Berry creek Falls. In that direction they become progressing larger and more impressive. Golden Falls I saw first and given its name I had expected a lot from it, but was kind of disappointed. It is a cascading fall that is named golden not because of its majesty but because of its color. The falls has deposited a coat of yellowish clay on the rocks it flows over no really that pretty. The next water fall is Silver Falls it's a strait drop of about 60 feet and is very pretty however the trail next to it is steep and very slippery and presents the falls at a funny angle to admire it from.

Berry Creek Falls is gorgeous. It is taller than silver falls and has much more flow because the it is just below a confluence on Berry Creek. It has a curved mouth at the top and falls into a pond at the bottom. It is at an opening in the canyon so you can see it better and there is more dramatic lighting and a lot of greenery on the cliffs around the falls including some massive redwoods, and as I mentioned above the water fall was creating a rainbow above the pond while I was there.

I was not using a light meter and, as stated, I am not very familiar with medium format photography but if any of the pics turned out I will post them for you.

The hike out was un eventful. I took skyline to the sea trail back to park headquarters. it follows waddle creek and while it is still uphill I don't think it is as drastic as sunset trail was. Also, the redwood trees seemed more impressive along waddle creek than they had been along the sunset trail. I got to the trailhead about 1:30 and dropped my gear and went to get the car from the overnight parking lot half a mile away. When I got to the car I remembered, the keys were inside my pack. I had to walk back get the keys then go get the car. GRRRR. Oh well.

The drive home was a little frustrating. As I was driving back along this windy mountain road I had a great big freight truck riding my bumper. When I finally got tired of feeling like I was being chased in an attempt to kill me I pulled over and let him pass. With my car parked at the side of the road I decided to hike back up the road aways to where there had been a clearing and you could see the valley below. When I got up their I realize I could see the pacific ocean in the distance. It was very cool. I drove on after taking in the view and as I approached the onramp to hiway 17 I notice my car was running hot, in fact the temperature was nearing the redline. So I pulled over and waiting awhile fore it to cool down. After a while I felt I could drive on to the next exit and look for a spot with water where I could check out my car. I turned out I was quite low on oil so I added a quart out of my trunk and after that all was well. but these unplanned delays put me in some pretty ugly traffic all the way from San Jose to the toll bridge at Bencia. I hate traffic but I suppose it is just part of life, and If going camping on a week day when everybody else is working means I have to put up with bad traffic on the way home, then so be it.

GPS and Geocaching

2006-02-19T10:26:00.000-08:00

This year I gave myself a valentines day gift; a GPS device. Big 5 was selling a basic unit for $75 and after a little study I decide that it met all my needs so I bought it. This unit has a black & white display and will not handle topo files directly but I will always have a paper topo so that is not a big deal and to upgrade to color and topo interface would cost an extra $100.

Then I went geocaching. Crystal and I went to the botanical garden on Fair Oaks and found the first cache after just a little looking but the second cache seems to be missing. It was fun to just wander around the park with a gps and figuring out how it works.

Now, geocaching is fun and I like the fact that it gives me speed and altitude but I think GPS is over hyped. I like map and compass work, Reading topos and preplanning hikes as well as using topo and compass in the field and GPS kind of disregard that skill set and I think that understanding map and compass is better that using GPS to get location to three decimal minuets.

My army man has the coolest stuff

2006-01-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

As a child I remember thinking that GI Joe commercials always had these crazy landscapes that where not all that practicle and most likely couldn't work the way the commercial showed. Well I have a GI Joe that has a full rack of climbing gear that would put most sport climbers to shame. For the past month or so He has contented himself with rappelling from air ducts and door jams in my appartment and hanging out with "the barrel of monkeys" monkeys. That is no longer the case. This Week I built a cliff face for him to climb on it is awesome.

My toys have the coolest toys!

Disgusting bloodsuckers (and I don't mean Lawyers)

2006-01-30T02:52:00.000-08:00

Wednesday I was hit by THE URGE. I slipped my backpack into the trunk of my car as I left for school in the morning (it had been in my appartment for a inventory and restock) and by the time my school day was over at 2:30 I was definatly headed for the hills.

I drove upto the ranger station at Auburn and found that the campground I had planned to use was closed due to being rather underwater. I considered my options and chose to head for a hike for a few hours and the head home around dark.

The trail I picked was the american canyon trail ( I had read about a waterfall at the bottom of the trail and hoped I could do the round trip with the remaining light I had). At the trail head I stuffed the basics (large water bottle, light stick, flash light, local topo and 20 feet of paracord) into the pockets of my jacket and started off.

It is a nice trail clearly designed with CDF access in mind, but it could be much more clearly labled ( the trail is actually well labled but the topo for the park doesn't have all the trails on it so at a junction I made a wrong choice and never got to the waterfall, If I had the written trail guide with me I would have been better off than having the map.) The trail wound down the hill to the creek witch I crossed and wound back up the other side. It was a nice day out considering it is January and I shed my jacket fairly quickly. About the time I decided I ought to start back toward the car it had coolled down enough that I took of my long sleeved shirt witch was rather perspired in and put the jacket back on.with dusk settling in I got back to my car and put the shirt back on before settling in for the drive home.

On a slightly differant topic, I had never driven stick on a steep and windy road before. Hiway 49 between Cool and Auburn is the quintacential steep and winy road. I was a fun drive, my little car handle corners nicely but it is not much of a climber.

I few miles before I get to home I scatch at my arm and notice something. I pull into a parking lot and roll up my sleeve. I have a tick imbedded in my right arm. Now I have been a scout and a scout master and in theory I know a thing or two about tics but my first instinct is still to freak out just a little bit. I decide to head and see my dad, I have never actually dealt with on of these arachnids and I know he has.

To get to my parents from where I was I had to drive by the church and as I did it hit me, I should let the scouts take it out they are all supposed to know how to do this, I should let them try. Yeah Right. Neither the scouts nor the leaders were willing to try. Now at least the have seen one though, actually Dallas did come with me to see if covering it with soap or bsa advised credit card trick would work. Neither did. I continued on toward home with my faith in the future slightly diminished.

My father didn't have much better luck at first. He started with the "used a match and make it uncomfortable so it will extract itself" technique. Utter failure. Next we revisited the credit card trick. Then we decided it was time to buy that Sawyer Extractor we had been looking at for months. A sawyer extractor is a suction device that can save your life in the event of a poisonous snake or spider bite. I myth it can pull out a tic. I reality it does not. At this point my loving and concerned mother is suggesting I seek medical attention. Mean while I am diggin through the first aid kit to get the Forecepts (it is a good first aid kit) I would much rather have a family member rip out a tic and small chunk of arm for free than wait in a lobby for an hour plus then pay a doctor to rip out said tic and chunk of arm.

critical interjection - I believe in doctors and ERs they save lives but I knew they where just gonna pull the tic out and that I would have to 1. wait forever and 2. pay no small amount of money. The thing a doctor could and may have done in this case that I could not was prescribe an antibiotic to insure that I did not contract Lyme Discease. I know the symptoms for Lyme discease if any showed up I could make an apointment to see a doctor. If you are bitten by a tic and have any doubt as to how long it has been on you or are uncomfortable with the prospect of having only half a tic embedded in you, then by all means go see a doctor.

With the forecepts and a decent tug dad removed the tic. To our surprise it was still alive, we quickly resolved that.

I have a nastly little hole in my arm that spent two days being red and irrittated. I did further research the next morning and it confirmed that removing a tic with a good set of tweezers was the best technique and afterwards using a sawyer extractor or evan just an alchol wipe on the bite. I also found that a tic could not realiticly transmit Lymme Discease unless it is on you a minimum of six hours and has become engorged.

Well now we know (and knowing is half the battle)

moderatly exciting car news

2006-01-30T02:35:00.000-08:00

Two or so weeks back a friendly law enforcement officer pulled me over and called to my attention the fact that my car is not operating legally. This I had infact known.

Largely as a result of this, but also due to my desire not to have my car break into two or more peices as I drive over a speed bump in my apartment complex, I took my car to see its doctor. I had the car doctor replace the front drive axils, greatly reducing the risk of the car breaking in two. I also had them look at the brakes, I did not need a brake job... I needed my master cyclander replaced. This was not in my budget so I will put it off until later. Who needs to be able to stop any ways.

Oddly neither of these had anything to do with what the law enforcement officer told me, but I have a week or two left to worry about all that.

Now the exciting news. Jordan, Jeremy, and anyone else who has been a passenger in my car most like would confirm that the passenger side window has been down and in opperable for the past... forever. This was still the case when I took the car in to see its doctor, but when I picked it up (drum roll please) the window was up. They didn't even charge me for it, even though on a previous quote they had said $70 to repair it. I guess they just saw the loose whatsit and plugged back in the thing-a-mujigger well they were doin' there thing.

Any ways Jordan at least should be excited by this.

fun with ropes

2006-01-30T00:50:00.000-08:00

I have been reading up lately on rock climbing rappelling and canyoneering, you know just to build my repotoir. (feel free to visit www.chockstone.org) and earlier this week I decided I needed to get out some gear and try some of these new techniques in the safty of my own back yard before I found myself in a field situation where my life depends on my ability to tie a prusik knot.

Well, as is so ofte the case I started by heading to the store. Actually I started by heading to my fathers garage, he had most of what I would need so I climbed onto the roof and found an anchor for my static line and tied it off. Then I went and bought the thing I needed, 15 feet of static accessory cord to tie into two 3 foot loops (the thing I wanted was a pair of mechanical ascenders but they run $125 a pair)

I got back to my parent and went online to make sure I was tying my joining knots and my prusick knots correctly. It was about then that Jordan got home, good now I had a spotter. I dragged him out to where my rope was tied off and told him I was gonna climb up to the top of it and his job was to keep me from dying.

The technique I used was pretty crude but it worked. I stood with each of my feet in a loop of cord that was tyied to my rope. I would first lift a foot slide that foots knot up transfer my body weight to that loop and bring the other loop/foot up to it and then repeat. I was not harnessed in and to come back down I used the same technique in reverse. I then spotted Jordan as he gave it a try.

Next I went back online and compaired my experiance with how it looked on paper. The "right way to do it" was of course much more safty concious. I tried on the one prefabb'ed sport harness my father owns and no matter how hard I tried I knew I was not gonna squeeze in there. So... I had jordan put it on and we went back out to the rope.

This time I shortened on of the loops and clipped it to his harness, the other loop I left long for his foot again. The techniques was now to step up, slide the harness loop up the rope, sit so you are hanging by a little rope with no hands or feet involved and slide the foot loop up high enought hat you could step up again. Although it is DEFINATLY the safer of the two, I think it is slightly more unsettling. (you may all note that it was jordan in the harness and me on the ground)

Once Jordan gets up to the top I tell him to clip into the anchor above the rope so that none of his weight is on the rope. At this time my loving parents wander back to check out what I was upto. Jordan is dangling not I like a pinata with no ability to climb or jump down and I start a conversation with my father. Now I don't forget Jordan completely, I toss him a "figure eight" (a peice of gear for rappelling [sliding] down the rope) and give him insructions for using it. I then tell him to untie the loops he had used to get up the rope. Once he get the figure eight inplace and clipped to his harness I do what is called a "fireman's belay" to keep him from sliding until he is ready as he unties the prusick loops.

Next I let go of the rope and tell him to rappel down, that is when this gets fun for those of us watching (well it was kind of amuzing to see how Jordan grabbed the rope with both hands above him In what he thought was the right possition to rappel, but that isn't the really funny part). If you think back I had jordan clip to the anchor above the rope now he has slid down just a few inches and discovered that he is still clipped in up there. He now has no way to raise himself up a few inches to unclip either because we undid the prusicks so Jordan is dangling 12ish feet off the ground by a little cord trying to somehow pull himself up and unclip the it. In short it was good times to watch. He did eventually get the traction he needed on the side of the garage to lift himself up and unclip and the rappell back down and I would never have left him there if he had said he needed help. But it was fun to stand on the ground with mom and dad telling him not to get the side of the garage dirty with his shoes and him strugling for all he's worth to get just an inch higher.

I am glad Jordan played along with me on that. I learned a lot of lessons in both what I did and what I watched him do. Next time I need to find a real cliff.

My internet

2006-01-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

the following list includes many of my favorite websites

www.terraserver.microsoft.com I am a map geek. Terraserve features a comprehensive topographic data base as well as hi-res satilite photos.

www.en.wikipedia.org this is an online encyclopedia that I use all the time. It is user editable and I find it to be very comprehensive.

www.dictionary.com is an online dictionary that I use often, they have a word-of-the-day that I often visit.

www.gmail.com I have a hotmail account and a gmail account and gmail rocks.

www.sluggy.com this is a silly online comic that I often visit and read I also read dilbert and Get Fuzzy online.

www.gorp.com this page has info on trails, parks, and other outdoor activities. It is not as user friendly as I'd like but it is a decent page that I use to gather camping data.

www.waterfallswest.com is an index of water falls with topo maps and trail discriptions.

www.google.com I use google for most of my searchs.

www.downloads.com this site has freeware and trial ware and I have found some great software there.

www.tmbg.com and www.tmbw.net I am a They Might Be Giants fan and these are the pages visit to keep upto date on my band.

and of course www.blogger.com

There are other pages that I visit but these are the sites I spend the most time at.

Inheritance

2006-01-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

My uncle brian is in town this week trying to get the estate of my late grand father in order. Early on we were each asked if there was anything that had been special to us or that we wanted. In my case there are a number of items, the first was a pair of cufflinks. I have a well know affinity for french cuffed shirts and a rather respectable collection of cufflinks, so I wanted a pair of my grandfathers to add to the collection. The second was a rotary phone. In my grandfathers house he alwasy had rotary phones and I am young enough that I associate them closely with my grandfather and time spent at his house (my mother got the brass canon that is the other thing I think of when I think about going to grandpa's as a child.) I also asked for some music and some of his camera equipment.

As a teenager I wanted to go into photography and I had used much of grandpa's extensive collection of older camera equipment. Much to my surprise I was given ALL of that photo equipment, this I think was in part because I know what it is and knew that he had it so that I could ask for it. The other half of the reason would be that it is essentially all obsolete and I own a camera that is old enough that it works with his lenses.

The other things I resceived from the estate are a large number of dress shoes. many of which are dancing shoes.

I am pretty jazzed about the things, now all I have to do is figure out where I can keep all of it.

Hey Devon

2006-01-09T01:13:00.000-08:00

This week I got 500 little army men.

keep working hard and when you get home I might let yu play with them :c)

On Singning.

2006-01-09T00:22:00.000-08:00

(more update leading to current stuff)

I have always appreciated music. Music can be used as a tool to adjust mood and feeling. When pulling all nighters I often use carefully selected music to help keep me awake. I have a testimony of the power of music to help usher in the spirit, and it is may be more than just coincidence that I tend to go for girls with some musical talent.

But in all honesty, my family tends to lack musical talent. Until a year ago I would have said I was completely lacking in musical ability, but a year ago I decided to actual TRY something musical and was able to successfully teach myself to play the recorder (you know that little flute like instrument) and in the process I learned to read music. So, I know longer can say I am totally I am musically inept but I acknowledge it is not a strong suit of mine.

In November Jeff Heatherly approached me and told me he was forming a ward choir, and that he was greatly in need of men. He also told me that the reason he was asking me to join the choir was because he saw in me a desire to praise the lord in song. I explained to him that I was willing to try but that I am essentially tone deaf, in other words, if you play a note and I sing a note I cannot tell you if I was on the right note. Jeff promised to work with me and I agreed to participate in the choir.over the next few weeks my humble little ward's humble little choir practiced Silent Night a few times each week after church working on developing four part harmony. I also met with Jeff a few times and received, not voice lessons but lessons in music theory and principal. A big problem for me was that I was the only tenor, to help me and the choir as a whole Jeffery was also singing tenor as the choir conductor. This meant that if I watched and listened closely for Jeff I could try and sing what he was singing but if I lost him I was completely lost (this meant that I would end up trying to sing the melody with the sopranos).

On Christmas Sunday the ward choir sang and I feel we did fine. I still have a long way to go before being anything more than some one who wants to sing, but I am trying.

This leads me to some more current events...Last week we opened Elder's Quorum by singing "How Firm a Foundation" we had good attendance in Quorum but Jeff was not there. Our new bishop conducted and Bob Houghton who is in our bishopric was present lending us a powerful trained bass. We sang unaccompanied and it was the best I have EVER heard our quorum.This week we had most of the same people, still know Jeff but also no Bob, and for reasons that cannot be adequately explained I was the one "conducting" (or at least waving an arm around while standing at the front of the room) and this week we once again sounded borderline cacophonous. How is it possible that 18 men can sing so well together and then a week later 14 of those same men can not sing together at all? I just don't understand. (Any of my elder reading this should know that I am simply being honest and am not attacking any one persons musical abilities)

Tonight after church Jordan and I went to the YSA fireside. It was a Hymn-along conducted by a brother from my home ward. We sang together many of my favorite hymns and I felt the spirit greatly as we raised our voices in praise to God. I truly do love music, I just wish I had more ability to do it well.

Liquid Nitrogen

2006-01-08T23:38:00.000-08:00

(more update)

(warning: the following post kind of rambles)

Back in mid December my father came home and told me he had found something he was willing to held me buy as a christmas present, and told me to guess what it was. My first guess was a sailboat, no not this month. I ventured a few more guesses and then gave up. So he told me. At the Army Navy store here in town he had seen an MVR Lab-20 liquid nitrogen dewar that appeared to be intact for a mere pitance, actualy 45 pitance, but that is still a great deal. (I did a bit of research and replacing it would run about $1000)

The next morning I took the $20 he gave me and my wallet and went to the Army Navy store. The guy who runs the store asked what the heck it was... that would be why it was only $45. that and the good chance that it didn't work. So, a few days later I took the dewar over to the local welding suply store (that is where you go to buy L2N) and told the guy that I wanted to buy a few liters of liquid nitrogen to see if my dewar was any good. He begins to fill it and I ask what It will cost, his responce is that it is kind of expensive. A minute later he asks how much I had wanted and I said "about five liters" I once again ask what that will cost. He responds by telling me that to fill the dewar would run about $80-$100 (quick math five liters for around $20, okay) not long after that L2N starts poring out the top of my dewar. The guy then looks at me and asks "were you paying cash" when I respond in the affirmitive he says " that will be ten bucks" and then helps me load up. Now I had figured liquid nitrogen at $2-$2.50 per liter so I guess I bought some liquid nitrogen that had "fallen of the back of a truck" if you know what I mean (nudge nudge wink wink)

So with 20 liters of commercial grade liquid Nitrogen I decide to call Avi who lets me know people are getting together at his house and we should do Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream. Now let me explain to you for a moment the virtues of L2N Ice Cream... Most people who have had home made ice cream agree that it is better than store bought ice cream this is because it is fresh it has no perservitives and you can make what ever flavor you want. The down side to home made ice cream is that it takes a couple hours to make, it is often softer that some people like and if the lid did not seal correctly it can end up salty. Now if you take all the good things about home made ice cream and get rid of all the bad things you have liquid nitrogen ice cream. each batch take about five minutes to make, it can be chilled to soft serve or to these super frozen ice cream nuggets depending on how you like it, and each person in the room can pick their own flavor if they want.

Anyway that night I cranked out a half dozen differant batches of ice cream rangeing from strawberry to eggnog. That was a week and a half ago and right now I still have a liter sitting in the bottom of my dewar so I guess it works fine. If you are trowing a party and want an ice cream bar just let me know I will do it for cost.

Feather Falls

2006-01-02T03:13:00.000-08:00

I always want to go camping. This past week I even thought I'd get to, but my work schedule would have only let me do a simple overnighter and I didn't have much luck finding anybody to go with me overnight. I did, however, have two friends willing to going hiking with me for the day.

Tuesday morning I got of from working the overnight shift at 7:00 and drive to Crystle's place where I took the gear and food that was in my truck and moved it to her car and the the two of us went and picked up Avi. (Crystal is the girls that went camping with me over spring break and Avi is featured in the post about jewish weddings.) The weather forecasts for the day all agreed that it would be wet and the roads were in pretty bad shape but we were determined so we hit the rode about 8:45.

The drive took just over two hours, the trailhead is past lake Oroville near Yuba City. We were the only car parked at the trail and I figured we wouldn't see anybody else on the trail since the sky was drizzling on us already. The trail is a loop with the lower section running about 3.5 miles and the upper trail a mile longer, we decided we would hike in on the lower trail and if time and energy permited we would finish the loop on the way out, if not we would come out on the lower trail and save a mile on the round trip.

As we hiked in we saw salimanders crawling along at the side of the trail and lots of differant kind of mushrooms growing in the woods. The mushrooms lead to Avi and I discussing old friends from high school and the jewish and mormon perspectives on forgiveness. Crystal was most likely bored out of her mind by this topic but we tried hard to keep her close to us. By the time we got close to the Falls she wanted very much to sit and rest, so she she went to the look out and Avi and I headed to the top of the Fall itself.

The power of the Falls is truely magnificent. Avi and I roped up and went out to the very edge. The view of the canyon below way amazing and few things encourge respect and awe of nature like standing at the top of a 600 foot drop on wet rocks after only a few minuets we scrambled back up to the trail and head back to meet Crystal. I then notice I had left my walking stick back at the falls Avi balked a little but Crystal, who was there when I first picked it up understood why I decided to run back and get it.

We took the lower trail back out for two reasons the first was that Crystal was getting worn out and didn't think she could do the long hike and the second was that Avi was supposed to be back home for a family dinner at 5:00. The hike out really taxed Crystal and Avi was stressing because there was no way we could even get home by 6:00 at that point and we wouldn't have cell signal until we had been on the road for half an hour or so. I feel bad for Crystal because we kept pushing her instead of letting her stop and rest everytime she wanted to. Also the rain was really falling on us as we hiked out, my hands to really cold and even I rain gear we were all pretty well soaked by the time we got to the car.

Even with the downside we each had a good time, and we were each glad to get back to the car (well I would have been more glad to be getting back to a tent and staying but we can't always get what we want). We got back around 7:00 and Avi's Family had waited for us to join them for dinner. After that Crystal and I went and soaked in a hot tub for a half hor or so and then it was time for bed.

update

2006-01-02T03:11:00.000-08:00

So, the past month has been… complicated for me on many different levels. I haven’t wanted to put my thoughts on paper especially somewhere that people I know could read them, but the time is here to get over that. To maintain the integrity of the record I have posted entries about the things that have happened since I last did an entry.

After SF with Marquel

2006-01-02T01:02:00.000-08:00

We drove from SF to Oakland to see the temple all dressed up for Christmas. We went into the visitor center and did the interactive display on family. I had not seen it before and I thought it was very well done. Much of it is based around the story of a family losing their grandfather, and having just lost a grandfather it was kind of emotional for me. Next we watched to evening concert, it was a father and daughter and I thought that they did a very good job. The daughter was only about 15 and I was impressed by how well she did especially.

After the concert ended Marquel and I started to wander the grounds. We ended up on the terrace and there was a "we need to have a talk" moment. the kind of "we need to have a talk" that make your head fall to your feet. As we sat on a bench and looked out into the night, Marquel told me that she enjoyed going on dates with me but didn't want anything more than that right now. She had been dating John for so long that she felt that she needed to be single for a while and become reaquanted with who she is. The problem with this is that I was falling in love with her, but I knew she was right.

That night and the next morning I thought a lot about what she had told me she needed and about where I was emotionaly. The next morning we had a previosly schedualed date to have breakfast and see "The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe" during breakfast we didn't talk about the conversation from the night before. We went from breakfast to the theater in our seperate cars and after the movie I walked her to her car and told her the decision I had come to. " didn't think I could just hang out with her and go on casual dates I needed to give her space so she could find out who she is with out me getting hurt. I told her I was deleting her number from my phone and that for at least a month I would only see her at firesides and other activities that we would both be at. then I opened her door gave her a hug and walked away.

I still have feeling for her. I have seen her a couple of times since then and last night we talked for a while. I beleive very much that she should know who she is, my one concern is that her Exes aren't giving her that space and I fear that she will go back to dating one of them, witch would prevent her from learning what she needs to about herself and would lower the odds of me have another chance with her in the future.

back to SF with Marquel

2006-01-01T23:24:00.000-08:00

One of the more amusing things done during this blog hiatus was head on a trip to San Francisco with Marquel and her roomies and their respective beaus.

We took off around 9:00 and wound through the city for half an hour or so and ended up at the palace of fine arts. Now, I am well aware that San Francisco has more landmark buildings than any other city on the west coast, coit tower, the trans american pyramid, the ferry building at embarcadero, Ghirardelli Square, etc, etc, but my two favorite, by far, are their city hall and the palace of fine arts, not only are both beautiful but I have fond memories of each. So when the group decided that we would stop and visit the palace of fine arts, I was in complete agreement.

After climbing out of the car we started down the side walk causing the upset to the indolent pigeons who were loitering there. the pigeons in that park are so lazy that as I passed one that was sitting on a fence I reached out and hit it with the back of my hand. I found it very amusing that I was able to do this. Shortly there after we were roaming beneath the grand cupola and I decide I was in the mood for an adventure... I many circles it is common knowledge that this mood of mine is often followed by mischief. it so happens that some of the smaller service buildings adjacent to the palace of fine art's rotunda have terraced planter beds by witch means someone could have perhaps accessed said service buildings roof, and while that someone was on the roof the rest of their party may have joined them there and two lovely young ladies may have even gotten into a scarf fight and practiced ballet pirouettes. Now, that is something that may perhaps have happened at some point to someone. While the six of us were there we wandered the grounds and utterly enjoyed ourselves without once being addressed by security or any law enforcement personnel.

After we ate lunch at the PoFA we drove and parked at Fort Mason. I feel one of SF's great treasures, and best kept secrets is free parking at Fort Mason one block from Ghirardelli Square and two blocks from the Hyde st. trolley and a mile tops from pier 39.

At Ghiradelli Square we bumped into Nathan, his girl friend and the magnificent Courtney, with whom we sat in the Ghirardelli café and had coco. After the café we wandered the shops and began a leisurely walk towards the pier 39. It had been decreed by fiat from some one in our party that we would have clam chowder there for dinner. We ended up at the toy museum at fisherman’s wharf with several cold girls and not much desire to keep going, so I went back and got the car and met back up with everyone, while I was getting the car they got chowder except Marquel who doesn’t like chowder. She was very cold and it took her a while to warm up inside the car.

I have made many trips down to SF over the years and in all honesty I don’t think I have ever had a bad day in that city.

trees and traditions

2005-12-30T11:01:00.000-08:00

The 10th of December was a Saturday this year. That in and of itself has very little importance, but it happened to be the day this year that my family did one of our most important tradition. By most important I mean oldest and most fun and when it comes to tradition that means a lot.

Every year since my very first Christmas my family has gone up to the hills and cut a fresh Christmas tree. (That is not entirely true there was one year, when things were crazy busy ,that we settled for a lot tree, but none of us count that.) We always head up to Boa Vista tree farm, a nice family farm run by a sweet old man and his family, and get a redwood tree in the fifteen to twenty foot range for the living room. This year I was the one that found the tree we ended up cutting down.

For the third time Jeremy and I also got a tree for our place. The tree we picked was a seven footer that smelled amazing, for the first two days we had it I would constantly rub it to get the smell on my hands and in my room. The tree sat in the corner until Wednesday when I had the chance to buy a new tree stand and some ornaments then we decorated the tree and watched “A Christmas Carol.” I feel like my little apartment really had the Christmas spirit this year.

Death funerals and mourning

2005-12-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

The month of December started for my family with the death of my grandfather. My mom’s dad has been coping with colon cancer for the past year or so and had been in the hospital since thanksgiving, so his death was not unexpected. I had never been very close to Grandpa McCann, he was not the kind of person that was easy to be close to, yet his death has raised in me complex thoughts and feelings.

Part of this is because my Grandfather is one of the few members of my family who is not a member of my faith. This raises questions as to weather I will ever see him again. I want to believe that death will be able to soften his disposition and that he would except the gospel. I hope that after my life is ended that I will be able to get to know and love him as I could not here on earth, but I honestly I don’t have much faith in him. That probably sounds harsh but it is how I feel. Also on some level I may be harboring resentment that I was not able to have a better relationship with him in the past. Some of that I may be feeling more because I think my mother feels that way to some extent.

In spite of the fact that he was not LDS his services were. Each of his children spoke then Edi, his girlfriend of the past two years, and the concluding speaker was my father, who spoke about service and forgiveness. He was then buried with full military honors witch was very impressive.

That week my mother’s family spent together for the first time in as long as I can remember. I believe that death is simply a part of life, a transition rather than an end, and I believe that death and mourning can be a critical first step to healing and forgiveness. I fervently hope my family can heal.

a moment to vent.

2005-11-28T06:00:00.000-08:00

The following may come across as self righteous but it bothered me so I’m gonna gripe for a second.

Today in church my very diligent second counselor, who usually takes care of sacrament was running late so I asked Jordan to see that it was set up and I went recruiting people for passing the sacrament. Now my ward has fairly limited priesthood and it is not uncommon that all but one or two of the worthy priesthood holders in the room when sacrament meeting starts will be either blessing or passing. With this in mind it really bothered me that one of the men I asked told me he would not pass the sacrament because he was sitting next to a girl. Today we had fairly good sacrament attendance and I was able to find all the people I needed but I am still bothered by this.

Part of this goes back to the fact that I firmly believe that there is little more important than the ordinance of the sacrament. I spent a year trying to instill this in the 11 and 12 year olds I worked with in my family ward and to have an elder brush off a request to help reminds me of those teen age boys who view preparing and passing the sacrament as a burden.

Perhaps part of the reason this bothers me is because the girl he was sitting with whom I supposed I had expected more of, seemed pleased with his decision rather than supportive of his priesthood obligations.

Or perhaps I am just a judgmental person with subconscious resentment of a handful of individuals who I would find a reason to disapprove of regardless of what they did.

Well, I hope my heart is pure.

dancing

2005-11-28T05:03:00.000-08:00

One of the really fun thngs about dating is trying new things. I took Cheryl and tried disc golfing for the first time. Crystle took me roller skating for the first time since 5th grade. It seems when dating there is always a new restraunt or something new to try.

One of the things Marquel is really fond of is swing dancing, so three of the past few fridays I have gone with her to the YWCA downtown and tried my best to learn to dance. This week I didn't have work so I was able to stay the whole time and even though my legs were quite sore from the hiking I did this week I found that I am starting to "get it".

I find it very flatterning that Marquel spends so much time working with me on the most fundimental staps, when I know that she is one of the best dancers in the room. I think her efforts are starting to pay off because though I am still far from good at it this week it actualy started to feel natural.

camping alone

2005-11-28T04:12:00.000-08:00

The original plan for this past week was for my family to spend the week camping at the beach, with David, Jason and myself joining them on Wednesday afternoon. Due to my grandfathers poor health those plans changed. My family stayed home and tried to do as many of the camping activities as possible while still being close to Kaiser Hospital in Roseville. They slept in a tent in the backyard and roasted marshmallows over a small fire, and they seemed to be enjoying themselves, but that was not enough for me.

Tuesday I announced that I was still planning to go camping on Wednesday. David asked where I was going but when I told him I was backpacking in he decided it was more than his wife and kids would be up to. Jordan never expressed any interest, Rosie, Crystal and Marquel each had work and so I went alone.

Wednesday shortly after class got out I drove up past Colfax to the Euchre Bar Trail head. I was the only car at the trail head and I no longer had cell signal by that point. Euchre Bar trail head is at about 4000’ in elevation it makes a two mile descent to the north fork of the American river at about 2000’. So for every three feet forward you go one foot down. This makes for a quick trip down the hill and as I approached the river I took a side trail and went a mile or so up stream and so some old mining ruins and took some pictures of the river. Then I hiked back to the place where the trail crosses the river at an old suspension bridge, crossed to the south side of the river and made camp.

Shortly after sunset I decided to make diner. My new stove works pretty well, It brought the water for my cup of soup to a boil much faster than my small fire would have. I ate beef jerky and a cup of Nile Spice black bean soup. After diner I wondered to where I could better see the stars it was at this point that it began to settle in that I was alone. Not just alone in that I didn’t have someone else with me but alone in that there were no other camp fires or flashlight beams or signs of human life down in the canyon except for me. It was moderately unsettling, as I toasted marshmallows over my dying fire some of the camp fire stories of my youth went through my head as well as thoughts about bears and other bad things that can happen to campers. After eating my three s’mores I climbed into my tent and it occurred to me that this may have been the first time in my life when I was truly alone, or at least that I had never been more alone. No one was with me, but that is not uncommon, and no one is near by, far less common but it had probably happened before. Now here is the kicker, If I needed help or wanted company there was no way to get it. It actually made me think of my great aunt Jesse who had live in the high Sierra as a youth, for her this would have been the norm.

The next morning I awoke before sunrise, not surprising when the fact that I was probably in bed around 8:30 or so is taken into account. I don’t know what time I went to bed or how long I slept because I didn’t bring a time piece, oh the joys of camping. I built me fire back up and went hiking up stream again. I was bummed that my camera had dead batteries at this point because the fork of the river I was following was absolutely gorgeous. As I jumped along slippery rocks above a cold and fast moving river the thoughts of the previous night revisited me. I did not avoid the river but I became a little more careful of my footing. I gathered a bunch of fire wood as I headed back to camp figuring it was a polite thing to do, besides I may be the next person to use that camp site. Instead of boiling more water for oatmeal I simply had a granola bar for breakfast filled my water bottle, made sure that my fire was out cold and repacked my gear. The hike out of the canyon was grueling but I managed a respectable pace and was climbing into my car at 11:15am.

As I hiked I thought about all the things I am thankful for and I observed that it am much more grateful when I am out in the wood with no more possessions than I can carry on my back. Anyway. Happy Thanksgiving.

Sick

2005-11-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning I woke up and ran into the bathroom. Shortly there after I saw my diner again. It had been a huge mistake to eat the Jambilia that had been in my parents fridge. Not that there had been anything wrong with it, but it was NASTY coming back up.

I called into work and left a message that I was sick. I then took Jeremy to the medical building and headed to class. I sat near the door as far from everyone as possible and where it I could make the quick exit; just in case.

After class I went to my parents house and slept a few hours. When I woke up I called work to confirm that they got the message. Then I called Marquel, I was supposed to have a lunch date with her. It turns out that she was sick to so I took some soup over to her apartment and we played sick together. We watched Singing in the Rain and went for a walk.

I was home and in bed around 9:30 (way early for me) and when I woke up this morning I felt just fine. I guess that means I have to go to work.

Stake conference ate my Weekend.

2005-11-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend was stake conference and that left very little time for other things.

Saturday I was Supposed to take Sarah Lynne out to breakfast. But I called her just before work got off and said that I would need to reschedule because when I picked the date and time I was not thinking about the fact that I had stake meetings. She said that another day would actually work better for her as well.

I went home and went to sleep. When I woke up it was time to go to the leadership session. The new Sacramento mission president spoke, as did president smith concluded by a few words from the stake president. I got some good instruction and feel I need to make some changes to the way I preside over my quorum.

There was then an hour break between sessions and I stayed and wrote Devon a letter, then I cleaned the glass doors.

Then the Adult session started. I think it was my favorite session of the three. When it ended I went with Cheryl to try and say good bye to C$ but she was not at her house, so chreyl took me back to the church and I helped dad secure the building then went with parents to their house and the three of us had diner.

After that it was time to head to work.

Sunday I just got a few hours sleep then went back to stake conference. After diner My family and Marquel, who had joined us for diner went back to the stake center for the Joseph Smith Contada. Then three of us went to what was left of the YSA fireside.

48 hr weekend

16 hrs at work

10 hrs sleeping

9 hrs at church

I was a good weekend but I am glad and I got a lot out of it but I am glad Stake conference only comes once a year.

car? CAR!

2005-11-08T23:55:00.000-08:00

so I now have a car. Not that I didn't have a car yesterday, but today I really have a car. After class this morning I went to the dmv, stood in line 20 min or so and got my number, B083. the screen said B061 was now being server so I went next door to my polling place and voted Yes on everything but prop 80. Then went back to the dmv and B076 was being served so I trotted to the grown-ups house and check my email then went back. B081, time to take a seat. I was only at the counter for a minuit and got my new temp sticker, there was no charge and that was cool, then I went back to my grown ups and checked online for insurance info.

Progressive quoted me $590/six months and said Geico would be $700/ six months. I tried checking 21st century which my parents have but the website wouldn't let me get very far. Then mom came home and after trying the website again I called 21st. I got my insurance for $370/ six months and mom got a $50 gas car for refering me.

Well I then went to start my car and guess what... nothing happened. Last time I sat in the car, about a month ago, it started just fine. I think , maybe the lights got turned on and the battery is totaly drained. I pop the hood and the battery is disconnected. I try and connect the cables to the terminals but they don't reach. Something is weird here, is this even my battery? I call Jason: "no, I don't know anything about it. I can take a look when I get home from work if you want." I talk to David: "yeah, Jason took it and put it in his nissan." I go and buy a new battery and leave jason a voice mail telling him that he will need to pay me for this battery I was buying. I think un-christlike and fairly violent things at him, more for the petty lie, but the fact that he stole my car battery is pretty low.

Once the new battery goes in I start the car and drive to work.

I don't know what to think. I know I am going to bike less and that bums me out, but it is nice to own something and feel kind of grown up.

the pros and cons are zipping through my head to fast to type. I miss life as a kid.

Trips to SF are Expensive

2005-11-05T00:12:00.000-08:00

$6 birdge toll (Carcinas and the Bay Bridge)

$ Some amount of money for Marquel's gas that we used to get there and back ( We ended up taking Marquels car [his name is Bruce and he is a stick] but she had me drive half the trip down and all the trip back. I was pleased with how well I did with a standard trany on the legendary hills of SF, but I still feel bad for some of the pain Bruce suffered at my hands)

$50 lunch at Rain Forest Cafe at Fishermans Wharf (I had the pot roast and thought it was pretty good. We spent most of lunch trying to figure out how the water effect on the ceiling works. we came up with a few good guesses but if you know the answer with certainty feel free to tell.)

$30 all day parking near Fisherman's Wharf. (If I had read the sign we would have parked around the corner but such is life)

$10 each for cable car tickets to Union Square and back. (it really isn't much of a trip into San Francisco if you don't go on the trolley but each time I go it gets more expensive)

$50+ sur charge for two tickets to the They Might Be Giant concert at Bimbo's 365 (read about it in the next post)

A day in San Francisco with Rosie and Marquel... Priceless!

(I know, I know that, was completely unoriginal, but I really did enjoy everything about the trip and feel it was worth every cent (except the parking lets get real with that one). We left hear about 1:oo and got an early lunch then headed by trolley to Union Square so Rosie could visit a soap store called Lush that smelled so strong that Marquel and I just stood by the door. She also had us go into Tiffany's and Co. so she could oggle the sparkly bits, she sure does like those sparkly bits. then we went to the club and waited for the show. 365 is a very swank place the even have restroom attendants. after the show we headed home. Rosie slept in the back seat and Marquel and I had a chance to talk about things. She is really awesome and I hope we get to do more stuff together. I got home around 1:30am and I assume the girls got home shortly there after)

The Concert

2005-11-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

Inspite of the fact that "Bimbo's 365 Club" sounds dirty it is actualy a very upscale place. It only seats about 300 or so it is fairly intamate and is very swank. Rosie, Marquel and I sat at a table about 40 feet from the stage and on a slightly raised platform.

The opening act was Corn Mo who no of us had never heard of before. He is most likely a highly trained musician, He plays the paino very well and his vocal range and control are impressive. However, most of his song where acompanied by accordian that is not played with the skill of a Weird Al, or a John Linnel, and His songs tended to the sophmoric.

TMBG did a set that covered all their bases. Opening with some of their classics then including some of their newer songs. They included the "grown-up version" of Robot Parade and The Alphabet of Nations off their kids albums and did a pair of "venue songs" teasers. I enjoyed the entire set and I think the girls enjoyed it as well, Rosie more than she had expected, perhaps. My favorite was probably... well all of it was great.

This is the third time I have seen them live, and they seem quite audiance driven and this audiance was not as high energy as the others have been, but they still did a double encore.

Well I am glad I got to go, next month BNL is coming so there may be another concert review soon.

A chance to tell me that you think I'm ugly!

2005-11-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

so I got talked into posting a pic at hotornot.com. here is the url if you wanna rate me.

http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=E8OSHZE&key=RUM